Question for American football fans

[Moonbear]

Okay, I got an invitation to a SuperBowl party on Sunday. This is not the type of invitation I usually get. The type of SuperBowl parties I've always attended are the kind where everyone drinks a lot, we pop in a DVD of The Simpsons on a big screen TV, and forget there was a game on. At this one, there will actually be people who intend to watch the game!

I'm trying to decide if I should bother attending. A party sounds fun, but not if people really sit and just watch the game and don't talk. So, if I have no interest in watching the game, will I end up just annoying people who want to watch it if I want to have a conversation? Most people I know realize my complete disinterest in sports, so don't bother inviting me to anything focused on watching a game. Someone suggested I go and just watch the commercials. (I'm leaning toward staying home and getting work done, if you hadn't guessed.)

If I find out there will be others attending who aren't completely interested in watching the game, I might go. So, next question, who's playing?

 

[scarecrow]

New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles.

Yes, you will be annoying. LOL.

 

[loseyourname]

Yeah, you're already annoying me. Stay home.

 

[Moonbear]

New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles.

Oh, that's why people were talking about who would win between those two teams. I didn't know they were referring to the SuperBowl.

Yes, you will be annoying. LOL.

That's what I figured. I'll probably just skip it. No point torturing myself watching something I have no interest in with people who aren't interested in doing much else other than watch it, thereby torturing them too.

 

[scarecrow]

Just go. Enjoy yourself...but when they say "Shhhhhh", do that and pay attention to the TV. :)

 

[Gokul43201]

Moonbear, we can suggest some appropriate and almost intelligent lines to use. That'll make you 'one of the guys' !

"I know this one's going to come down to Vinateri's boot again..." :despair: <anytime the game looks close...this may even work before the gane starts>

"TO's not looking very good " <TO has not fully recovered from injury but will likely get a fair share of playing time. Not to be said just after TO makes an brilliantly athletic TD catch>

"The team is really rallying behind Brady" < Tom Brady's grandmother died a couple days ago. Do not say this when Brady takes a sack. >

"Maybe Freddie should get to study his corners a little better ! :sarcasm:" <In a Q&A session, Freddie Mitchell was unable to name the starting corners from the Patriots - he knew numbers but not names; not that he has to. You can say this any time Freddie runs an outside route and is denied due to strong coverage. This may get you in trouble with Eagles' fans.>

A few more like those, and you'll blend right in. And it'll be something of a challenge for you. You might just enjoy it.

If not, there's always the commercials, and who knows what might malfunction at the halftime show ?

 

[Moonbear]

Oh geez, I wouldn't even know one player from another to use any of those lines at the right time. I really couldn't force myself to actually watch the game. Like I said, I've never before been invited to a SuperBowl party where people actually cared about watching it. I can never even tell when one team or the other scores other than by who is cheering or booing around me. I'll just stay home. If people are really that serious during these "parties," I won't have any fun anyway.

Thanks for resolving that issue. Feel free to hijack the thread now.

 

[Gokul43201]

<threatening thread with boxcutters>

Turn around right now or else... I'll open all your packages.

 

[Moonbear]

<threatening thread with boxcutters>

Turn around right now or else... I'll open all your packages.

Maybe you're the one who stole tribdog's package of cookies! Someone must have hijacked them too, because they never got returned.

 

[Integral]

Moonbear,
Come on over, we'll have a party. We have a Big screen TV a nice 5.1 sound system and a huge collection of DVDs. We are short on the hollywood pushed mainstream cr@p but have all sorts of stuff you may have never seen.

We have lots of good wine and snacks. And most important...


Football? Whats that? Super bowl? Is that some new toilet that I have not yet seen at Home Depot?
Eagles? No, I don't think a worthy version of the Hobbit has been made yet, so I doubt there will be any eagles here.

Patriots...Those are missiles,... aren't they?

 

[Kerrie]

Yeah, you're already annoying me. Stay home.

that's a little harsh don't you think? especially considering how much moonbear contributes to our forum.

Moon, I think it really depends on the crowd. When I have been to super bowl parties, those really into it are too busy yelling, cheering or screaming to pay attention to any other sort of dialogue. My husband is a HUGE football fan, and the biggest Eagle's fan in the state of Oregon, so as a prerequisite to marrying him, I had to understand a few things about football. So, when a game is on, I can sort of follow it, and he is always happy to answer questions I have about certain plays etc.

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear,
Come on over, we'll have a party. We have a Big screen TV a nice 5.1 sound system and a huge collection of DVDs. We are short on the hollywood pushed mainstream cr@p but have all sorts of stuff you may have never seen.

We have lots of good wine and snacks. And most important...


Football? Whats that? Super bowl? Is that some new toilet that I have not yet seen at Home Depot?
Eagles? No, I don't think a worthy version of the Hobbit has been made yet, so I doubt there will be any eagles here.

Patriots...Those are missiles,... aren't they?

Now that's the sort of party I enjoy!

Kerrie, yep, I know it depends on the crowd. I just know the hosts of this one are really into football (the type of people who you can't go to a sports bar with because as soon as a TV screen has anything on it that's sports, their eyes are glued to it and conversation stops), and I suspect most of the people invited are as well. Since I was already leaning toward not going, I'm just more convinced that my attending this one is only going to make everyone unhappy or annoyed, me included. I get REALLY fidgety if I have to sit too long watching something that doesn't hold my interest.

I really couldn't handle living with someone who is glued to the TV every time a game is on. The occasional game is okay, and I can stay out of the way if they really wanted to have a bunch of people over to watch a game (I'm not one of those people who has to do EVERYTHING together with my guy), but if nothing ever got done on Sundays other than watch games, it would drive me absolutely nuts. I know more people like you, Kerrie, who don't mind the games, and learn some about it to enjoy it with their spouse or whoever, or others who don't really watch, but just keep up with the scores enough to talk about it with the folks at work the next day, but that's just not me. I can only stand watching two sports as a spectator. I still don't follow everything, but at least they are fast-paced enough to be somewhat interesting to watch. I can stand basketball, and actually enjoy watching soccer, though I rarely do (I don't keep up on players and stuff, just think it's a fun game to watch...and soccer players have really nice butts that aren't hidden under padding. )

 

[Doc Al]

Football? Whats that? Super bowl? Is that some new toilet that I have not yet seen at Home Depot?

Delighted to see that I'm not the only one who couldn't care less about football!

Superbowl = :zzz:

 

[arildno]

Well, you Americans have at least a national sport there is some sense in!

Do you know what the great Norwegian sport is (aside from soccer in the summer-time)?

50 KM CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING!

 

[BobG]

Minor nitpick:

"TO's not looking very good " <TO has not fully recovered from injury but will likely get a fair share of playing time. Not to be said just after TO makes an brilliantly athletic TD catch>

This phrase is good even just after TO makes a brilliantly athletic TD catch. Critiquing his TD celebration is considered very insightful.

Just keep in mind the standards you're measuring his TD celebration against:

Pulling out a Sharpie pen to autograph the football for his agent. (This was pretty ingenious - not only did he show his appreciation for the man who helped get him so much money, he set himself up to make even more money doing Sharpie commercials).

Celebrating his TD catch in the center of the other team's logo. (Doing it once may have just been poor taste - doing it a second time resulted in an opponent blind siding him right in the middle of his celebration. Not exactly a high rating for TO on this one, but pretty darn entertaining, none the less.)

Dancing with the cheerleaders, with a borrowed set of pom poms. (I rate this pretty low. Those stupid little mini poms poms look even dumber on someone the size of TO. Whatever happened to those big pom poms cheerleaders used to shake?)

Pulling a cell phone out of the padding on the goal posts and phoning "Mom". (One of TO's competitors did this, but it sets a pretty high standard for TO to beat. I think he'll have to have his own personal 'wardrobe malfunction' to beat that).

Just hope he doesn't go the opposite direction and try to outdo Randy Moss for the most tasteless TD celebration. (Moss's celebration was actually only the second least tasteful sports celebration I've seen. I once saw a soccer player celebrate scoring a goal by crawling around the goal area like a dog, then lifting his leg once he reached the goal keeper. I'm surprised the keeper didn't take advantage of such an easy target. Don't mention the soccer player at a Super Bowl Party, though. It'll get you tossed out in the snow.)

 

[Moonbear]

Delighted to see that I'm not the only one who couldn't care less about football!

Superbowl = :zzz:

We should start a support group! First meeting, here, tomorrow (Sunday) at 6 PM EST!

I think it's even worse that now, aside from just watching the game, now people actually watch the commercials too! Commercials are supposed to be when you get up, socialize, use the bathroom, fix another snack, etc. But now people stay glued to the TV to watch commercials, and the commercials have been in the news all week! I just don't get it. [shakes head]

Why do they have the superbowl on a Sunday night anyway? Why not Saturday night or Sunday afternoon? People have to get up for work Monday and can't stay up watching a game and partying all night on a Sunday.

 

[Moonbear]

Dancing with the cheerleaders, with a borrowed set of pom poms. (I rate this pretty low. Those stupid little mini poms poms look even dumber on someone the size of TO. Whatever happened to those big pom poms cheerleaders used to shake?)

Big pom poms, huh? BTW, what happened to the good old days when that's what the men were really watching -- the cheerleaders shaking their big pom poms? :buggrin:

 

[Evo]

Moonbear having been married once to an ex quarterback I find the following comments during the game very helpful and much appreciated.

1)Every thirty minutes you should ask what inning it is.

2)Show that you are paying attention by frequently asking relevant questions such as "what are they doing now?" "why did those two big guys run into that skinny guy?" "why are they all just standing around?" "where's the ball?", "why did that guy throw a handkerchief on the ground?", "so he gets a free throw now, right?"

 

[polyb]

Moonbear having been married once to an ex quarterback I find the following comments during the game very helpful and much appreciated.

1)Every thirty minutes you should ask what inning it is.

2)Show that you are paying attention by frequently asking relevant questions such as "what are they doing now?" "why did those two big guys run into that skinny guy?" "why are they all just standing around?" "where's the ball?", "why did that guy throw a handkerchief on the ground?", "so he gets a free throw now, right?"

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear having been married once to an ex quarterback I find the following comments during the game very helpful and much appreciated.

1)Every thirty minutes you should ask what inning it is.

2)Show that you are paying attention by frequently asking relevant questions such as "what are they doing now?" "why did those two big guys run into that skinny guy?" "why are they all just standing around?" "where's the ball?", "why did that guy throw a handkerchief on the ground?", "so he gets a free throw now, right?"

Oh, I've been thinking really hard about this, and came up with some other questions I think will help me fit in and show my immense interest in learning more about the game. What do you think about these:
"Which one is the goalie?"
"If it's called football, why don't they use their feet to kick the ball around?"
"Why do they have to keep taking so many breaks? Aren't they supposed to be in better shape than that?"
"How come the player wearing prison stripes is always just standing around doing nothing?"
"I heard ballet lessons are good for football players, is that so they can do better dances when they make a basket?"
"Didn't that 15 minute quarter end an hour ago?"
"Are the same teams playing still?"
"What detergent do you think they use to get the grass stains out of their uniforms?"
"How come kicking the ball through that big metal thingy is only worth one point?"
And the question that keeps me alive at the end of all this..."Who wants more beer?"

 

[brewnog]

"If it's called football, why don't they use their feet to kick the ball around?"

There's a very good reason for this. It's NOT called football, it's called American Football. Football isplayed using feet to kick the ball. We invented it, we named it, it's our game, and you guys suck so badly at it that you had to invent a whole new game just so that you wouldn't be rubbish any more! And then you added insult to injury by not only stealing the name for our, older, better sport, but by horrifically renaming our sport to 'soccer'.

Absolutely outragous, you will never be forgiven.

 

[Moonbear]

Absolutely outragous, you will never be forgiven.

Please, don't blame me for that! I had nothing to do with it! You could abolish the whole sport and I'd be so grateful!

 

[BobG]

Oh, I've been thinking really hard about this, and came up with some other questions I think will help me fit in and show my immense interest in learning more about the game. What do you think about these:
"Which one is the goalie?"
"How come the player wearing prison stripes is always just standing around doing nothing?"
And the question that keeps me alive at the end of all this..."Who wants more beer?"

The first question is really dangerous. Both the Canada folks and the UK folks will stone you confuse which sport has a goalie (the right answer is Canada - the UK has keepers).

Rephrase the second question a little, use it at the right time, and you'll be immensely popular: "How come there's a prison inmate standing on the field?" Just use this phrase whenever you see one of the coaches throw a red handkerchief on the field and you'll be okay.

Toss in one more question. "How come they call it 'offsides'? Shouldn't it just be 'offside'? What do they call it if more than one player is 'offsides' - 'offsideses'?"

But, of course, the last question will always keep you alive, especially if you're holding a Laughing Lab.