How Do You Care for a Gifted Physicist?

[Math Is Hard]

ok, so my friends gave me the greatest Christmas gift ever - a physicist! But the darn instruction manual is all in Japanese! He's so adorable, and very interactive - more than I expected - but I have no idea how to care for him or what to feed him. Any suggestions? What do they like to eat? What makes them happy? Do they like to be scratched on the belly, or just behind the ears?

 

[tribdog]

Heck if I know. Mine is like a damn defective Furrbie. I can tell you where NOT to insert the batteries though.

 

[JasonRox]

That sounds really cool.

What's it like? Pictures?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I'll send pics soon. Thank heavens it came pre-assembled! I am so useless with those diagrams!

 

[JasonRox]

I'm surprised you assembled a pre-assembled toy!

I would have got lost. I'm not good with toys, unless its Lego's.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Do you suppose I should try to learn its language? (It's very sophisticated and mathematical and I don't even know if I could learn its language. ) It responds pretty well when I just babble and coo at it in English, and maybe that's enough for basic communication?

 

[BobG]

Don't worry, anything makes physicists happy.

If you hit them in the head with a brick, they're happy kinetic energy is only equal to 1/2 mv^2.

 

[Evo]

In the last survey I saw, 9 out of 10 physicists preferred to have their bellies rubbed and scratched behind the ears. They did have some odd dietary requirements though.

 

[Math Is Hard]

do you think he would like frozen brocolli?

 

[Evo]

do you think he would like frozen brocolli?

Frozen broccoli was at the top of the list.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Will it be frightened if I try to kiss it? How long should I wait?

 

[Moonbear]

Ooh, how fun, a physicist for Christmas! It's what every girl wants nowadays, and you actually got one! I hear they like being rubbed on the belly, really low on the belly. As for food, that's easy. They can go days without eating if you give them a really good problem to solve, just provide coffee ad libitum and that will cover the drinking part. They require very little maintenance, though they might bite if you try to take that napkin covered in equations away from them at the end of meals. Just let them keep the napkins, and everything will be okay. They are quite wonderful to have around, I'm so glad you got one for Christmas!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Moonbear, thanks so much for the advice. Ohmigosh - it's so cute! It keeps trying to do little experiments. Should I let it roam around the apartment? Maybe I should get a little terrarium for it that's like its lab at the university.

 

[Imparcticle]

Okay, I'm a little lost...What's a physicist? A new toy like furby?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Yeah - almost exactly the same thing, actually. Just less marketing involved.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This has got to be politically incorrect, or something.

Anyway, you can also get the action figure but he's called an Engineer.

 

[Moonbear]

Did you name it yet?

The action figure is really pretty good too. But my experience is they're great for a short time, but don't last long. Physicists really last.

 

[tribdog]

I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.

 

[Math Is Hard]

This has got to be politically incorrect, or something.

Anyway, you can also get the action figure but he's called an Engineer.

I was planning on getting one of those too. I really, really, really want the Chronos model - but they are almost all sold out - in very short supply this year.
Also, I am afraid he might beat up my physicist. I have heard that Engineers tend to be more aggressive and surly, so I don't know if they make good pets??

 

[Math Is Hard]

I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.

oh, mercy - yer killin' me, trib!
but do you really want to start world war 3 here?

 

[Imparcticle]

oooh, golly by gosh! I want one too. So if I go to the store asking for one, they'll know right?

What are good names for a physicist?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Actually, the physicist already came with a name when I took it out of the box, but, ironically, it had the SAME name as the astronomer I got for Christmas last year (which was a complete piece of junk that I have since thrown in the trash!)
I suggest that you make up your own name for your pet.

 

[tribdog]

or don't worry about a name. I've heard that they either come before you want them or they don't come at all.

 

[tribdog]

I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.

It's like a Transformer or a GoBot

 

[Brad_Ad23]

All I got for Christmas was an economist

 

[tribdog]

All I got for Christmas was an economist

now that's comedy!

 

[Chronos]

I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.

Correction, an engineer is a physicist whose head has been successfully extracted by a proctologist.

 

[BobG]

I've heard bad things about engineers.

I don't go near engineers, because they smell of booze and modernism, but I'm told that they use log to mean log to the base 10.

 

[one_raven]

I just hope you got a receipt with your Physicist.
They talk a good game, but not much action.

 

[Artman]

I thought if you took the Physicist and put his head up his butt you got an Engineer.

No. Just put the batteries in, when it starts working it's an engineer.

 

[Hurkyl]

Pah. They're both just a cheap knockoff of a mathematician!

 

[BobG]

Aren't mathematicians afraid to drive?

After all, the width of the road is negligible when compared to its length.

 

[franznietzsche]

Physicist available:

Likes:

Back Rubs,
Good Food

Don't touch the napkins, they're important.
Leave the study alone, DO NOT try to tidy it up.

Otherwise, normal rules for handling men apply.

PM if interested...

 

[Math Is Hard]

All I got for Christmas was an economist

That's so.. so.. um.. practical! Sure they don't glow in the dark and make funny noises like physicists, but I bet they're a heck of a lot more reliable.

 

[tribdog]

A Dodge Neon is a heck of a lot more reliable than a Ferrari.
See how I've compared an economist to a Dodge Neon and a physicist to a Ferrari? To continue this argument I would compare an engineer to a keychain