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What's with the "f'ing pervert!" thing? Is that how girls react to this data nowadays?
TheStatutoryApe said:Some guys like it when the girl comes onto them.
Personally just about every girl I have dated came after me. I've found that most girls that are interested in me will come after me and just about every girl that I go after is not interested. As a result I very rarely try to pick up on girls anymore. My last serious girlfriend was actually really bothered when I told her that had she not made a move on me I probably would not have made one on her. I also told her that looking back on it the only reason I think I was so comfortable with her during the "courting" stage was that I thought she was so amazing a woman that she would never really be interested in me. I assumed that she would just think I was a nice guy and we would wind up friends so the pressure was never there. In the end I was right and I never really was what she wanted, she just thought I was.
This is a tough call. A lot of people tend to hedge their bets and start dating someone new before they've dumped the previous person...sort of checking that the new one is really worth leaving the old one for. I guess it depends on what you call cheating and whether there's any physical intimacy involved. But, it seems the advice being given is reasonable. Take it slow. If she's interested and leaves the other guy, great, and if she doesn't, then you haven't done anything to embarrass yourself or make it awkward to just be friends if that's all she intended.dicerandom said:Having said that, let me offer one more piece of advise. Never, ever, ever go out with a someone who will cheat on their current SO to be with you. They will end up cheating on you at some later time. I've walked down that road more times than I care to admit and it always ends in tears.
Oh, that sounds like a wonderful date! Nothing wrong with a hug rather than being too forward and kissing in case that's not what she wanted. Now you know she did want the kiss, so...call back right away and ask for another date! It sounds like it went well and if she has any doubts, calling her and asking for a second date will get rid of them. And, you can kiss her on the second date. For future reference, the best approach at the end of a first date, when you're not entirely sure if you should kiss or not is to simply ask, "May I have a goodnight kiss?" If she isn't ready for a kiss, she'll offer, "How about a hug?" and if she does want the kiss, you'll get one. Heck, she might have even found it more endearing that you weren't too forward and a kiss on the cheek was appropriate for a first date.rocketboy said:Ok, now that I've calmed down I can get this out. I guess it's not HORRIBLE but I am pretty dissapointed in myself.
So first of all, I like this girl named Brittany. We've been planning on getting together for quite awhile, and finally tonight we were both free, so I invited her skating on the Ottawa Canal. (Worlds longest skating rink). So I picked her up at 7, and we went. I ended up parking about a 25 minute walk from the canal, but that's irrelevant. So we get to the canal, put on our skates, and go skating. It was a really great time, we talked, laughed, flirted (both ways) and had a lot of fun. By the end of the skate we were holding hands, and on the walk back to the car we had our arms around each other.
It was all going perfectly.
Then I drive her home, and in the driveway I go to kiss her, but it turns into me just hugging her. Now that wouldn't be so bad, but when I hugged her I heard teh sound of her lips makin the "smooch" where my lips SHOULD have been...
Now what is she going to think? Girls like guys with confidence, guys who make the move and DON"T **** it up. I would kill to know what she is thinking right now. Probably something like "why didn't he want to kiss me?"
i need advice...i really like her...god, her looks, her smell, her personality...and i know she likes me because her little sister stole the phone when she was away from it and told me so. grrrrrrrrr...
Moonbear said:This is a tough call. A lot of people tend to hedge their bets and start dating someone new before they've dumped the previous person...sort of checking that the new one is really worth leaving the old one for.
Moonbear said:I guess it depends on what you call cheating and whether there's any physical intimacy involved.
Her behavior says "No", so does her "f'ing pervert"mk said:Well jeez, what if she likes you? And you kept telling her no no no.
Guam USA.Your friends suck. Why'd they do that?
Jade is a nice name. Where are you?
14mattmns said:How old are you?
The Proper Execution Of The First Kissrocketboy said:Ok, now that I've calmed down I can get this out. I guess it's not HORRIBLE but I am pretty dissapointed in myself.
So first of all, I like this girl named Brittany. We've been planning on getting together for quite awhile, and finally tonight we were both free, so I invited her skating on the Ottawa Canal. (Worlds longest skating rink). So I picked her up at 7, and we went. I ended up parking about a 25 minute walk from the canal, but that's irrelevant. So we get to the canal, put on our skates, and go skating. It was a really great time, we talked, laughed, flirted (both ways) and had a lot of fun. By the end of the skate we were holding hands, and on the walk back to the car we had our arms around each other.
It was all going perfectly.
Then I drive her home, and in the driveway I go to kiss her, but it turns into me just hugging her. Now that wouldn't be so bad, but when I hugged her I heard teh sound of her lips makin the "smooch" where my lips SHOULD have been... :cry
Don't try to justify your actions with a compliment. Don't try to excuse or explain what you're about to do. Don't try to motivate her by telling her how much you like her. Don't ask her for permission to kiss her, which she will perceive as weak and begging (unless her Interest Level [degree of love] is off the chart from the get-go).
Remember, the classic male archetype of women's romantic fantasies is "The strong silent type." As my Uncle Jethro Love used to say, "You can't wind up saying something that lowers her Interest Level or her comfort level if you simply don't speak at all, now can you?" So be Mr. Nike, and without a word -- just do it.
If you didn't send him all http://www.boatsafe.com/nauticalknowhow/distress.htm" signals, then you didn't send him all the signals. Specifically, did you send him the 3rd one down on the right? That one is quite versatile.Moonbear said:I sent him all the signals...
I guess I missed a few. I guess that explains my lack of dates...I keep forgetting the best approach with men is to club them over the head and drag them home with you, and even then some aren't quite sure if you're interested.russ_watters said:A little late, but... If you didn't send him all http://www.boatsafe.com/nauticalknowhow/distress.htm" signals, then you didn't send him all the signals. Specifically, did you send him the 3rd one down on the right? That one is quite versatile.
Astronuc said:The first time I kissed my wife (on our first date, well before we got married), I asked her permission. I simply asked, "may I kiss you". This was after I walked her to the door of her apartment. She said yes, we kissed, and I nearly fell down the stairs. It was a really nice kiss.
Unles you're totally clueless, you "know" if a kiss is expected. I think that's sweet that you hugged her instead. Of course she probably went inside and cried her eyes out, or made a voodoo doll of you, or both because she was expecting a kiss and now she's wondering what went wrong.rocketboy said:I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off ass them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing
rocketboy said:I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off ass them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing
I've always appreciated it when asked, and it never came across as lacking confidence. On the contrary, it came across as very considerate. I've gotten more of the sense of inexperience when a guy just dives in for a kiss without asking first. I think it takes more self-confidence to ask than to just do it without asking, because when you ask, you risk getting a "no" as the answer (which isn't going to happen unless some wires have gotten majorly crossed in your communication with her). Your instinct might be just right...this time might have been more special and you have more respect for this woman, so hesitated to just force a kiss on her.rocketboy said:I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off ass them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing
Astronuc said:I was reading your original problem statement, and trying to figure out how you ended up hugging while she seemed, according to you, making a kissing sound, which is a way to kiss, but not intimately.
I think she knew he was going in for a kiss, but something happened, so he needs to be honest. Just tell her that you intended to give her a kiss, but it suddenly dawned on you that you saw more in her than other girls you've dated and the realization startled you, but it didn't mean that you didn't want to kiss her. Damn, that would work on me. :!)Moonbear said:Perhaps as you're arriving at the location of your next date, before getting out of the car, you could say something like, "There's something I forgot to ask you last night that I can't stop thinking about." She'll ask you what that is, and you build up the suspense a bit that way. Then you answer with, "I forgot to ask if I could have a good night kiss." (If you want, you can add a compliment in there, so something like, "I was so flustered by your beauty, I forgot to ask..." or, "I had such a great time with you, I can't believe I forgot to ask..."
Evo said:I think she knew he was going in for a kiss, but something happened, so he needs to be honest. Just tell her that you intended to give her a kiss, but it suddenly dawned on you that you saw more in her than other girls you've dated and the realization startled you, but it didn't mean that you didn't want to kiss her. Damn, that would work on me. :!)
Yes she is! Actually both Moonbear and Evo are two of the greatest women you will ever meet. Have you met the other PF Sisters yet? They are also pretty exceptional too!rocketboy said:You [Evo] are amazing. That's brilliant Evo.
Oh my god, that's so sweet, its just like a movie.Moonbear said:I think you might do well to take one of Astronuc's suggestions for the second date. Perhaps as you're arriving at the location of your next date, before getting out of the car, you could say something like, "There's something I forgot to ask you last night that I can't stop thinking about." She'll ask you what that is, and you build up the suspense a bit that way. Then you answer with, "I forgot to ask if I could have a good night kiss." (If you want, you can add a compliment in there, so something like, "I was so flustered by your beauty, I forgot to ask..." or, "I had such a great time with you, I can't believe I forgot to ask..." Hopefully she'll laugh or blush. Now, you have to look her directly in the eye (this is the key to appearing confident) as you ask, "May I kiss you now?"
Of course, the great thing about those first kisses is that once it's accomplished, more follow. :shy: Aww...now this thread has me all nostalgic about first kisses.
GeorginaS said:Where on Earth did you park, anyway, that you had to walk 25 minutes to get to the Rideau Canal? Were you past Dow's Lake or in Nepean or something? (I'm teasing.)
GeorginaS said:Okay, you're right, Rocketboy, I did laugh. You parked at the Experimental Farm? To get to the Rideau Canal? Hee! Yes, it is a nice long walk. It must have been a lovely day out to trek that far.
Oooh, our rocketboy is clever as well.rocketboy said:Shhhh! You're making me look bad! LOL. Yes it was a lovely night...I don't see how it couldn't have been spending time with her!