Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[Chrono]

You're doing the right thing Enigma by giving her the space she feels she needs. You're an amazing guy to be this sensitive and caring.

Totally. Even I'd date you, Enigma.

 

[enigma]

She called. Crisis averted.

 

[Gokul43201]

<phew>

 

[pace]

yay! *casts flowers around*

 

[Chrono]

She called. Crisis averted.

Sweetness!

 

[graphic7]

My problem varies slightly from the original topic of this post.

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen. Only problem, I believe she's slightly out of my reach. When I say slightly, I'm really exagerating the magnitude of how dire the situation appears at the moment.

Problem is, I'm roughly 3 years younger than her, I don't even drive (I'm not joking), and I still live with my mother. I'm not saying that I'm a bum. It's just that I'm 16, therefore, these various attributes that I'm missing conflict with my age - making the chance of me and her seem slim to none.

We do talk quite a bit, and she's even made the offer to me that she needs tutoring in Calculus (she stopped showing up to class, so I haven't confronted her about accepting the tutoring offer). She also sits beside me in class (when she does show up).

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.

 

[The Bob]

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.

No problem with the age, if it is meant to be then who cares. Does she have a boyfriend and would you say you are good friends?

I can't say what you can do as when I got my girlfriend I was unsure for months and it turned out I was wasting time, so how does she act around you?

Will try and help after answers.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[graphic7]

She's single, I'm certain. We've only known each other since the fall semester started, so that'd be roughly, one and half months. I guess, I should get to know more about her before I ask her out. At the moment, I really don't know too much about her, other than she's absolutely stunning.

She acts pretty comfortable around me. We talk, just average chit-chat, nothing special.

I suppose the main problem is that we don't see each other very often. I see her in class, and occasionally walking down the halls, where we always greet one another and that sort of thing.

 

[The Bob]

She's single, I'm certain. We've only known each other since the fall semester started, so that'd be roughly, one and half months. I guess, I should get to know more about her before I ask her out. At the moment, I really don't know too much about her, other than she's absolutely stunning.

One and a half months is not long enough. I know with my girlfriend that if I had of ask one and a half months into know her then she would most likely not have gone out with me but we were very, very comfortable. You have to get very comfortable and get it to a stage were you notice she is trying to be around you.

She acts pretty comfortable around me. We talk, just average chit-chat, nothing special.

That is what you must do but try and twist the conversation onto her or you and talk about yourselves more, but without her realising she is (if you see what I mean).

I suppose the main problem is that we don't see each other very often. I see her in class, and occasionally walking down the halls, where we always great one another and that sort of thing.

You need time. I saw my girlfriend once a week for about 3 hours and that was with other people around her all the time. I showed that I liked her by trying to be around her and it took 5 months for her to finally realize she liked me.

Sorry that I can only relate to myself but if you look for some of my earlier posts then they could be more useful but I will help here as well.

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. Ask away, if you need to.

 

[graphic7]

Thanks for your help. I feel a bit more certain about what I need to do than I did, previously.

I'll continue to talk to her, so we can learn more about one another, and then I'll start showing that I have an interest in her (which she should already notice by that point, I believe).

Once again, thanks.

 

[The Bob]

Once again, thanks.

No problem. That is what we are all here for.

Oh another good point. Remember her birthday and get her something. I do that with all my friends but it should show something more, but do it to more people than just her, then it is not quite so obvious.

Good Luck.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Gokul43201]

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen.

Without a doubt, this is probably the best line I've read in this thread.

graphic7, I think you should talk her into getting back to attending class, or she'll mess up her grades.

 

[graphic7]

Without a doubt, this is probably the best line I've read in this thread.

graphic7, I think you should talk her into getting back to attending class, or she'll mess up her grades.

I've been thinking the same thoughts. She's a Chemistry major, and I believe Calculus III is required for Chemistry (it's required for almost every science that I know of). If she drops Calculus III, or worse, fails it - she's screwed. Maybe if I can convince her of that (she'll see that I care), that'll get my foot in the door.

Thanks Gokul. Out of 1029 posts, that's quite a compliment.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

My problem varies slightly from the original topic of this post.

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen. Only problem, I believe she's slightly out of my reach. When I say slightly, I'm really exagerating the magnitude of how dire the situation appears at the moment.

Problem is, I'm roughly 3 years younger than her, I don't even drive (I'm not joking), and I still live with my mother. I'm not saying that I'm a bum. It's just that I'm 16, therefore, these various attributes that I'm missing conflict with my age - making the chance of me and her seem slim to none.

We do talk quite a bit, and she's even made the offer to me that she needs tutoring in Calculus (she stopped showing up to class, so I haven't confronted her about accepting the tutoring offer). She also sits beside me in class (when she does show up).

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.

I think she just wants TUTORING... nothing more. If you do more, you'll eventually lose TUTORING money from her and self-esteem. So why bother? Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

 

[graphic7]

I think she just wants TUTORING... nothing more. If you do more, you'll eventually lose TUTORING money from her and self-esteem. So why bother? Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

Well, she really hasn't stressed to me that she wants to be tutored. It's come up all of two or three times in our conversations. I think if that were her true motive, I'd put the pieces together. Not only that, she's stopped attending class. If tutoring were *that* important to her, I would think that she'd come to me.

I'm also not going to bother with 'motives.' That's a waste of my time and anyone else's in a relationship (or soon to be one). Just another thing to keep you from asking the girl out, which is certainly not what I need or anyone else needs for that matter.

 

[Gokul43201]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

I think this qualifies as the next best line !

Perhaps I should have said this before, but I really have read very much of this thread.

 

[Chrono]

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

Dude, I say just ask her out.

I've noticed, by the way, that I have a different mentality towards my own love life. I'm scared as crap to ask anyone out. That may be why I haven't dated yet.

 

[Math Is Hard]

When I was 23 I dated a 17 year old briefly. The fact that it was illegal in my state added to the appeal.

 

[Chrono]

When I was 23 I dated a 17 year old briefly. The fact that it was illegal in my state added to the appeal.

I'm 20 and almost dated a 16 year old. I pretty much told you all what happend.

 

[graphic7]

Yeah, but I still think there's a stigma about dating younger guys, especially when both parties are in their teens. Agree or not?

 

[Chrono]

Yeah, but I still think there's a stigma about dating younger guys, especially when both parties are in their teens. Agree or not?

Yeah, I tend to agree. When one of my girl friends was dating, one of her boyfriend's was younger than her. When I heard that for the first time I first thought that that was a bit unusual.

 

[Moonbear]

graphic7, I'm not sure from your description if she would be receptive to the idea of a date or not. Yours is a tough call. If she's a chem major, yes, she needs Calc III, so you could always contact her, let her know you noticed she's been missing class, ask if everything is okay, let her know you're willing to help tutor her if she is still interested, and use that as an opportunity to just get to know her better. Right now, it seems you don't really know much about her other than that she's physically attractive. Until you know if there's anything beyond that, no point getting too crazy about her. If she takes you up on the tutoring offer, you'll be able to gauge things better as you interact with her more. If she keeps it all about studying, then you'll know. With this one, I suggest you aim for friendship first and see if it develops into anything else, otherwise, you'll at least have a good friend.

 

[graphic7]

graphic7, I'm not sure from your description if she would be receptive to the idea of a date or not. Yours is a tough call. If she's a chem major, yes, she needs Calc III, so you could always contact her, let her know you noticed she's been missing class, ask if everything is okay, let her know you're willing to help tutor her if she is still interested, and use that as an opportunity to just get to know her better. Right now, it seems you don't really know much about her other than that she's physically attractive. Until you know if there's anything beyond that, no point getting too crazy about her. If she takes you up on the tutoring offer, you'll be able to gauge things better as you interact with her more. If she keeps it all about studying, then you'll know. With this one, I suggest you aim for friendship first and see if it develops into anything else, otherwise, you'll at least have a good friend.

You're right. I am getting a little too excited, too soon. I'll see how things go over the next few days - make some inquiries as far as her studies go, and we'll see how it goes from there.

 

[Moonbear]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

Oh, c'mon, you know full well those little buddies don't care whether you're alone or in public! Fortunately, calc textbooks are quite large to carry such that they can conceal such things. (Did you really think women don't notice when you need to carry your 3-ring binder in front of you?) That may also be the primary reason men are willing to dress up in suits for dates...a buttoned suit jacket, provided it is tailored properly long enough, will conceal all that you need concealed.

 

[graphic7]

Oh, c'mon, you know full well those little buddies don't care whether you're alone or in public! Fortunately, calc textbooks are quite large to carry such that they can conceal such things. (Did you really think women don't notice when you need to carry your 3-ring binder in front of you?) That may also be the primary reason men are willing to dress up in suits for dates...a buttoned suit jacket, provided it is tailored properly long enough, will conceal all that you need concealed.

It's funny you say that. I remember using Stewart's Calculus to cover up my little buddy during class last week. I guess I was wrong that no one would observe my little cover-up. :shy:

 

[The Bob]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Kalimaa23]

I'm speechless

 

[Moonbear]

I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious.

The Bob (2004 ©)

I would highly discourage this approach while on a date.

 

[The Bob]

I would highly discourage this approach while on a date.

So would I. It was just an example of how embarrasing everyone else can work in your favor.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[gazzo]

Carry around a calculus book during your date

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway.

 

[Chrono]

I would highly discourage this approach while on a date.

But what about the rest of the time?

 

[GlassDraggon]

I dunno...it depends on the guy. For some guy's it might IMPROVE the relationship. ;)

 

[The Bob]

Carry around a calculus book during your date

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway.

Even better than mine. Silent Embarrasing. Genius.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Carry around a calculus book during your date

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway.

Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

 

[Chrono]

Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

Well, that way you can develop your arms in the process.