Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Sonty]

It wasn't me!

Should Mr. Parsons be afraid of the little grey's revenge?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What are you talking about? They
worship him as a god!If you were the grey commander of
a flying disc and one of your
crew lost his vaporizor, would
you vaporize him, or make him
clean the space toilets?

 

[Sonty]

I would make him close the lids on all the toilets in the universe as my God says.

If you would be a grey, you lost your vaporizor and your commander made you close the lids on every space toilet there is would you consider laser spears on your next journey?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Sonty
If you would be a grey, you lost your vaporizor and your commander made you close the lids on every space toilet there is would you consider laser spears on your next journey?

No, they are awkward to carry and
you just end up whacking your
crewmates in the head every time
you turn around.The Earth toilet was brought to
its form as we know it today
by Thomas Crapper. What is the
history of the Space Toilet?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
The Earth toilet was brought to its form as we know it today by Thomas Crapper. What is the history of the Space Toilet?

Apparently there is history here, as the name of the space toilet inventor is "Crapper 'Grey' Thomas", (CGT to his friends) so perhaps he, the human one, was a direct decendant of the greys, from long ago, and it simply took that long for the DNA informetery to kick into place, as to have his historical place, in history, fixed in all places, and un-flushably so!

While using a space toilet, I noticed that there was no toilet paper, what was it that the greys told me to use to wipe my (deleted!)?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While using a space toilet, I noticed that there was no toilet paper, what was it that the greys told me to use to wipe my (deleted!)?

You would be referring to the dw^"
=*""l*5^6 as they call it in
their evocative and amusing vern-
acular expression (pronounce it
with a slight betelgeusian twang
and you'll get the full pun).In their culinary tradition how
many teaspoons of ground ;-0)08^|'
should be added to season a batch
of @@@^{=~<?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
In their culinary tradition how many teaspoons of ground ;-0)08^|' should be added to season a batch of @@@^{=~<?

They served me that @@@^{=~<?, but they never told me it had ;-0)08^|' in it, they did tell me it was made from leftovers though, so maybe the ;-0)08^|' was added only as seasoning.

How many greys did it take to serve the meal?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How many greys did it take to serve the meal?

I think you should be more concerned with how many greys
the meal was comprised of!
Haven't you heard the expression:
"Old Greys never die, they just taste that way."? If you were an old Grey, and it
was getting toward...mealtime,
would you put your house in order
or "Rage, Rage against the dying
of the light..."?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you were an old Grey, and it was getting toward...mealtime, would you put your house in order or "Rage, Rage against the dying of the light..."?

That's funny they told me an "old grey" was an oxymoron. (that must be why it tasted like that, Hummmmm, yummy!, ooops! did I say that out loud??)

At what age are grey babies conceived?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
At what age are grey babies conceived?

Grey babies are concieved at about
the age of thirty-eight. Birth
happens soon after at age fourteen
and puberty, which starts at three
months, is ongoing throughout
their lifetimes. At age twenty-
four they are able to babble a
phoneme or two but don't become
loquacious till sometime in the
second post mortem year when it's
all a mother can do to shut them
up.Since greys have no teeth, just a
bridge of undifferentiated cart-
iledge, how do they chew their
fingernails so skillfully?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by The Honorary Grey, zoobyshoe
Since greys have no teeth, just a bridge of undifferentiated cart-iledge, how do they chew their fingernails so skillfully?

I called one of them, and asked, he(?) told me that they use their rectal set of dentures for fingernails trimmings.

When cleaning their dentures, the rectal set, what is employed?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When cleaning their dentures, the rectal set, what is employed?

Only their gastro-enteroloist
knows for sure.

No one else wants to know.
A grey space alien Rabbi and a grey space alien Priest go into a
grey space alien bar. The grey
space alien bartender says "How
many fingers?", and demonstrates
two of the four on his right hand.

The grey space alien Rabbi says
"Why the long face?" and the grey
space alien Priest says "Anywhere
he wants to sit!"

Just then, a grey space alien
Minister rushes in, out of breath
and shouts "It's a cookbook!"

The grey space alien Rabbi turns
to confront the grey space alien
Minister, and, his voice dripping
with sarcasm, says...?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally communicated from outer spaaaaaaaaaace
A grey space alien Rabbi and a grey space alien Priest go into a grey space alien bar. The grey space alien bartender says "How many fingers?", and demonstrates two of the four on his right hand.
The grey space alien Rabbi says "Why the long face?" and the grey space alien Priest says "Anywhere he wants to sit!"
Just then, a grey space alien Minister rushes in, out of breath and shouts "It's a cookbook!"
The grey space alien Rabbi turns to confront the grey space alien Minister, and, his voice dripping with sarcasm, says...?

Oye Vey, you look the color of a Human's "smoked meat", now sit on the fingers, eat the book, and shut up with that long face already!

How can there be grey space alien ministers, priests, and rabbi's, when the greys profess a theism that worships only one creator's word!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How can there be grey space alien ministers, priests, and rabbi's, when the greys profess a theism that worships only one creator's word!

The solution to this apparent
contradiction lies in a glance
at the calendar that is hanging
on the wall behind the grey space
alien bar where stardate coordin-
ates clearly show it is "Imitate
an Earth Religious Authority
Figure Day."Grey space aliens are possed of
blood pressure that measures a
monotonous systolic .077699 over
diastolic .0072311 as measured
by any observer in any coordinate
system rigid body frame of refer-
ence no matter how high the obser-
vers own blood pressure seems to
be. This being the case (BP=C)
how do greys know when they're
exited? (Incidently, their rods
aren't as short as they look. It's
the result of Lorentz shrinkage.)

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally communicated from an inner space, zoobyshoe's
Grey space aliens are possed of blood pressure that measures a monotonous systolic .077699 over diastolic .0072311 as measured by any observer in any coordinate system rigid body frame of reference no matter how high the observers own blood pressure seems to be. This being the case (BP=C) how do greys know when they're exited?
(Incidently, their rods aren't as short as they look. It's the result of Lorentz shrinkage.)

Well they know that they are exited because the fornix of the cranium does a message replay to the amygdala, therein starting a function of neurotransmission that arouses the rod into a distended position that precludes any changes in BP, other then to have accelerated their hearts to a point where, had it not been for that fixed Bp, they would have imploded, by explosion, of rigid members.

Since we know that greys have very large brains, why is it that they haven't the cardiac capacity to match that?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since we know that greys have very large brains, why is it that they haven't the cardiac capacity to match that?

This is due to the fact that they
sustain their brains, not from
oxygen rich blood, but from Nitrous Oxide which is generated
in a bladder located north of
the uncinate gyrus and southeast
of the Hippo Campus (Hippo Univer-
sity, S.C.) all of which is inclu-
ded under the categorization The
Limbo System.

Last week some grey space aliens
knocked on my door and asked to
borrow a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ
I said "Hell, No!, you're all
clearly underaged! Do you think
I did the right thing?

 

[Sonty]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Last week some grey space aliens
knocked on my door and asked to
borrow a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ
I said "Hell, No!, you're all
clearly underaged! Do you think
I did the right thing?

Probably not especially if they had their vaporizers on them. If they didn't break your molecular structure you may call yourself lucky. The grey kiddies are nowadays very vindicative. You should have taken a cup of (*&&&^%~``| and mix it with a t-spoon of *7^QVB#&@@! and give it to them. They wouldn't feel the difference because of their lack of sensory glands on the bottom of their tongue. After a few hours they all will have to go to the newly cleaned and closed space toilet and the commander and their parents would have understood they tried to drink some of that %%k:""<`}+{oQ, but a smart earthling has given them (*&&&^%~``| with *7^QVB#&@@! instead.

At what age do greys become over-aged for %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Sonty
At what age do greys become over-aged for %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

This is hotly debated. Some greys
spend their spare time accerler-
ating their flying discs to near
light speed, turning around and
accelerating back in order to
look younger than they actually
are simply to extent their %%k:""}
+{oQ priviledges past the legal
age.
Some grey space attourneys argue
that if they look younger they
areyouger.Others argue that
their priviledges should be revok-
ed simply because they tried to
cheat.
In the end, no one wishes for a
acceleration to near C velocity
more than Cher.If I am a grey space alien parent
what signs should I look for that
my teenaged grey space alien child
has been drinking %%k:""}={oQ ?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
If I am a grey space alien parent what signs should I look for that
my teenaged grey space alien child has been drinking %%k:""}={oQ ?

Change of hue, usually, a 'subtler' shade of grey.

Is it an irony, a coincidence, or a subtle hint, that the book on human anatomy, is called "Grey's anatomy"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is it an irony, a coincidence, or a subtle hint, that the book on human anatomy, is called "Grey's anatomy"?

There is a small army of ironologists, coincientalists, and
hintalogians devoting every waking moment to this very question
behind closed doors and under hea-
vy guard at area 51. The President
himself, calls impatiently, on a
regular basis to ask "Well? Is it
a cookbook?"A few months ago a gaggle of grey
space aliens knocked on my door
and asked if I'd heard the Word of
Parson's. I said, "Don't you mean
`Parsons"? Why the possessive and
incorrect possessive at that?"
They were astonished that I could
hear the difference and withdrew
quickly in fear.
Should I report them to Religious
Authorities or to the Grammar
division of the Men In Black?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A few months ago a gaggle of grey space aliens knocked on my door and asked if I'd heard the Word ofParson's. I said, "Don't you mean `Parsons"? Why the possessive and incorrect possessive at that?" They were astonished that I could hear the difference and withdrew quickly in fear.
Should I report them to Religious Authorities or to the Grammar division of the Men In Black?

None of the above, as my first name is Robin (the Hood) Parsons, and my band of 'merry' men, will be around, shortly, to rectify this problem.

How come evey time zoobyshoe, and myself, meet with greys, neither of us collects any proof of their existence as to be able demonstrate it to all of the rest of you?
(conspiracy theories abound, we want the truth!)

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How come evey time zoobyshoe, and myself, meet with greys, neither of us collects any proof of their existence as to be able demonstrate it to all of the rest of you?
(conspiracy theories abound, we want the truth!)

Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you must be talkin' to me!Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you mustbe talkin' to me!


Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

Yes and no.

Why DON'T Zooby and RP collect evidence of the greys? Are they PART of the conspiracy theory? Especially Zooby! Being an Honorary Grey Space Alien and all... How'd you GET that title, Zoob? Did you bribe them with marshmallows or maybe a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who are you talkin' to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, there's nobody else in this
thread so you must be talkin' to me!


Speaking of Robert DeNiro: Is it
true that Ivan Seeking once posted
a thread in M & P S containg a
link to a newsstory in which a
grey space alien single mother
claimed Mr. DeNiro was the God-
father of her baby and was suing
him for failure to protect the
child from the talking Mr.Ed head
wrapped in newspaper that they had
recieved as change when driving
through a tollbooth?

No. It was Nero, not DeNiro.

Do we now know the true lineage of the Honorary Grey Space Alien?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Why DON'T Zooby and RP collect evidence of the greys? Are they PART of the conspiracy theory? Especially Zooby! Being an Honorary Grey Space Alien and all... How'd you GET that title, Zoob? Did you bribe them with marshmallows or maybe a cup of %%k:""<`}+{oQ?

Me stoop to bribery? It
was gross flattery.

Nero, that's right! I had them
confused because they're both
well known War Of 1812 buffs.In a link to a news article posted
in M & PS by Ivan Seeking a woman
in Taterberg, Idaho reported that
her lawn was routinly cut by grey
space aliens without her permis
sion, and that they were gathering
the clippings and stuffing them
into her septic tank. She hoped
that by talking to the press she
could encourage any others with
the same problem to come forward.
However, no one has. What steps
should she take now, to handle
this problem?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Me stoop to bribery? It
was gross flattery.

How gross was it?

Nero, that's right! I had them
confused because they're both
well known War Of 1812 buffs.

You are SO amazing! How many people KNOW this kind of stuff?

In a link to a news article posted
in M & PS by Ivan Seeking a woman
in Taterberg, Idaho reported that
her lawn was routinly cut by grey
space aliens without her permis
sion, and that they were gathering
the clippings and stuffing them
into her septic tank. She hoped
that by talking to the press she
could encourage any others with
the same problem to come forward.
However, no one has. What steps
should she take now, to handle
this problem?

Um... Grey Space Alien Roto Rooter? Hey! How'd they stuff those grass clippings in the septic tank, anyway? Wouldn't that be kinda hard to do -- unless maybe they're Changlings? Hey! Zooby! Are you a Changling (too?)?

 

[Tsu]

Sorry I ask so many stupid quetions. I'm just very inquisitive.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Tsunami

You are SO amazing! How many people KNOW this kind of stuff?

I pick this info up from Herman J.
Swivlschuck's well researched masterpiece: Nero and DeNiro:The Similarities

Um... Grey Space Alien Roto Rooter? Hey! How'd they stuff those grass clippings in the septic tank, anyway? Wouldn't that be kinda hard to do -- unless maybe they're Changlings? Hey! Zooby! Are you a Changling (too?)?

I am a mere Zooby.In a link to an article posted by
Ivan Seeking in M & PS local auth-
orities in Cornhile, Nebraska are
puzzled by reports of silo-tipping
being carried out at night by what
appear to be flying discs. A later
story, however, reported the arrest of local teenager Bubba-Bob
Jackson, who was apprehended in
the act of perpetrating a silo-
tipping by means of a length of
rope, a board, and a Frisbee. Why
wasn't this follow up story ever
posted in M & PS?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I am a mere Zooby.

Not just mere Zooby; the shoe of the Zooby. The reeeeally big Shooo.

In a link to an article posted by
Ivan Seeking in M & PS local auth-
orities in Cornhile, Nebraska are
puzzled by reports of silo-tipping
being carried out at night by what
appear to be flying discs. A later
story, however, reported the arrest of local teenager Bubba-Bob
Jackson, who was apprehended in
the act of perpetrating a silo-
tipping by means of a length of
rope, a board, and a Frisbee. Why
wasn't this follow up story ever
posted in M & PS?

See attachment for your answer. [It may take some time to appear]
Is Zooby being mind controlled by blue aliens who only make him think he is a gray?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Is Zooby being mind controlled by blue aliens who only make him think he is a gray?

{See attachment for answer.}
{It may take a while to show up}
{So don't hold your breath}In M & PS Ivan Seeking posted a
link to a news story concerning
a man who claimed to have woken
up one morning to find a crop
circle had formed during the
night in his pubic hair. Photos
of the phenomenon show the hairs
laid down in a neat circular pattern about 7/8 of an inch in
diameter. Arguments against it
being a hoax won many points when
several high ranking physics
students using the traditional
hoaxer's tools of a board and a
rope were unable to reproduce the
phenomenon.

Although undoubedly of extra-terr-
estrial origin, is the term "crop
circle" really accurate in this
situation?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Although undoubedly of extra-terrestrial origin, is the term "crop circle" really accurate in this situation?

Sorta, I told them that the right way to do it was "cutting" it, that way it's a "cropped circle"!

What do "greys" do, when the meet "blues"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do "greys" do, when the meet "blues"?

As stated earlier "greys" don't
"get" the "blues" unless BB (Big
Bang) king is there to translate.
Otherwise the "blues" just confuse
them. The film Close Encounters Of
The Third Kind disseminated
the information that mashed pot-
tato sculpture was an excellent
mnemonic device for recalling
deeply imbedded grey space alien
information. I'm curious if anyone
knows what effect, if any, this
had on potato sales in the years
since the film was released?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
The film Close Encounters Of The Third Kind disseminated the information that mashed potato sculpture was an excellent mnemonic device for recalling deeply imbedded grey space alien information. I'm curious if anyone knows what effect, if any, this had on potato sales in the years since the film was released?

Well if it did, it is a misnomer, as it is really "Carolina Spring Beauties" (the 'Ground nut' from those) that is actually the mnemonic device that works, and those kind of 'spuds' simply are not sold anywhere. You would need to go out into the forest and collect them for yourselves. (yes! they are yummy!)

Does the grey's spacecraft , the one parked out in area 51, have it's parking brake set??

P.S. zoobyshoe, do you have any more of that %%k:""<`}, could you fax me some of it (or e-mail it, I don't care how I get my hands on it) cause last time I imbibed in some I had such wild dreams I actually thought that the marshmellow worms, on the marshmellow farms, were really just bales of hay wrapped in a plastic membrane that allowed them to dry, and the the giant marshmellows themselves were simply single bales wrapped similarily. WOW! what a "ride" that was, so if you still have some LEMME KNOW!...Thanks

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Does the grey's spacecraft , the one parked out in area 51, have it's parking brake set??

An extensively trained team of the
most skilled decelerationists, re-
tardologists, and dawdlers is at
work at this moment teasing the
answer to your question out of the
phenomenally intricate mechanisms,
a quest that has been complicated further by the inadvertant spil-
lage of a soft drink.

P.S. zoobyshoe, do you have any more of that %%k:""<`}, could you fax me some of it (or e-mail it, I don't care how I get my hands on it) cause last time I imbibed in some I had such wild dreams I actually thought that the marshmellow worms, on the marshmellow farms, were really just bales of hay wrapped in a plastic membrane that allowed them to dry, and the the giant marshmellows themselves were simply single bales wrapped similarily. WOW! what a "ride" that was, so if you still have some LEMME KNOW!...Thanks

Go into any grey space alien bar,
ask to see "Mr. Plismo". They'll
know what you mean.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Next Question:

In 1905 an unknown German/Swiss
patent examiner published a
a physics theory based, in part,
on the absurd stipulation of two
bolts of lightning simultaneously
striking a railroad track at
regular, predictable intervals,
and whose simultaneity could be
proven given the possession of two identical clocks keeping precisely
the same time.

What quantity of %%k;""]+[oQ would
the average earthling need to
drink before all individual light-
nig bolts appeared to be two
simultaneous events and all clocks
appeared to be two perfectly
synchronized clocks?