- #1
teq
I know this is a question that is discussed time after time... but I really need to talk about it right now and hope someone can listen. :) I have read over many posts here and I feel thankful for your thoughts and concepts which have seeped into my mind already.
I did not grow up as a religious person. You could say I just live by what E.T. said, albeit accidentally: Beee good. (And although I am good and giving, very unlucky things have happened to me in recent months. So karma is truly out the window.) Other than that, I am nearly 27 and in the past few years I have moved completely into "if you can't prove it, then I don't believe it" mode.
My 6-month old dobe puppy died on Saturday. It hit me like a ton of bricks. He was happy in the morning, but by afternoon he could not breathe normally. After only a few short hours at the emergency clinic, he got worse and worse. They tried to revive him but he would not come back. How I wished I could have just stayed there so he would have not been alone in a strange place. Maybe he would have made it through one night. And then another.
All of my energy spent crying. All of my energy spent rubbing his head and saying goodbyes into his soft ears. Feeling the last bit of warmth from his chest. Feeling his paw, and then wishing I hadn't because it was already so cold.
The only energy left is from the candles we have burning for him.
I question our paths in life. I question if somehow, somewhere, he can feel that I cared and that he was so loved. Or was that only possible when he was alive, and that is it? I cringe.
It can really be depressing to admit to yourself on a constant basis that we will never see our loved ones, or pets, ever again. I do not believe that we carry on our memories. I do not believe we are ever physically alive again. I hear the rustle of the leaves, the bugs chirping outside, and the coolness of the breeze, and I feel that is where our energy disappears to when we die.
While sad, this makes sense to me. Does it to you?
I did not grow up as a religious person. You could say I just live by what E.T. said, albeit accidentally: Beee good. (And although I am good and giving, very unlucky things have happened to me in recent months. So karma is truly out the window.) Other than that, I am nearly 27 and in the past few years I have moved completely into "if you can't prove it, then I don't believe it" mode.
My 6-month old dobe puppy died on Saturday. It hit me like a ton of bricks. He was happy in the morning, but by afternoon he could not breathe normally. After only a few short hours at the emergency clinic, he got worse and worse. They tried to revive him but he would not come back. How I wished I could have just stayed there so he would have not been alone in a strange place. Maybe he would have made it through one night. And then another.
All of my energy spent crying. All of my energy spent rubbing his head and saying goodbyes into his soft ears. Feeling the last bit of warmth from his chest. Feeling his paw, and then wishing I hadn't because it was already so cold.
The only energy left is from the candles we have burning for him.
I question our paths in life. I question if somehow, somewhere, he can feel that I cared and that he was so loved. Or was that only possible when he was alive, and that is it? I cringe.
It can really be depressing to admit to yourself on a constant basis that we will never see our loved ones, or pets, ever again. I do not believe that we carry on our memories. I do not believe we are ever physically alive again. I hear the rustle of the leaves, the bugs chirping outside, and the coolness of the breeze, and I feel that is where our energy disappears to when we die.
While sad, this makes sense to me. Does it to you?