What are some harmless yet hilarious office pranks?

[lisab]

Like most places of employment, my work does not have assigned parking. But everyone parks in the same dang places every day, and they (quite mistakenly) come to think of that spot as THEIR spot.

Well here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest of the US, we get much rain. Much, much rain. And the rainy season has started -- it is Fall, you know. And it is dark late into the morning. In the middle of winter we arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark. (Yes I know you Nordic/Alaskan/Canadian/Russian PFers are not going to feel much sympathy for me on this point!)

So I have this coworker who has shifted his work hours a bit later. Now, he gets in at 8:00. He has habitually taken a prime parking spot near the door. I traditionally have taken a parking spot further out, and I get to work at 7:00 (on a good day ;)).

I've recently started taking his parking spot. I mean, on a cold, dark, rainy morning, why wouldn't I?

This has started what I would call a war. He parks so close to my driver side that I have to climb in from the passenger side! And he laughs about it!

I should say here, he and I are VERY good friends. We go on camping trips together, drink beer together, and share work/life secrets. So this "war" does not have any true animosity.

But -- I NEED TO GET THIS GUY BACK! In the worst way! Well not the worst way, we still need to be able to laugh about it later.

I should add, he's the building superintendent and he could make my work life miserable if I go too far (e.g., turn my office as cold as a meat locker, make my lights blink, etc.).

So...what practical joke ideas do you have? What can I do to give him a nice, fat "OMG!" moment, but not endanger our friendship?

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Simon Bridge]

He locks his car and has a security alarm?
What kind of car is it, and what sort of budget are we talking about?

Just being annoying you can build a simple circuit that makes a loud beeping when it is shaken and shuts up when it's still and tape it to the car. But ideally you want something related to parking very very close. There is always putting traffic cones around your car after you park ... historic gags like dismantling the car and reassembling it someplace awkward are much tougher to do these days.

 

[Enigman]

Ask another friend to block his driver's side and box him in.
Fake an emergency and then guilt him into stop doing that.
Leave a box of kittens on the spot he parks*.
Get some meta-materials and cloak it.

*make that skunks.

 

[David Carroll]

People act like this in the Pacific Northwest? I thought everyone up there was all like liberal and progressive and nice and harmless...with beards. Thank you, lisab. You just shot my image of the Pacific Northwest.

 

[Enigman]

Fake parking tickets (fining him drinks?)
Paintings:

 

[Simon Bridge]

Make up a sign for a fake company like - Wash your toilets by hand, Inner thigh massages or something to that effect. Put your targets phone number on the sign and then put the sign on the passenger side of the car. If I'm reading the situation right - the passenger side is the side that is close to your car ... so he won't notice it.

I'm on the other side of the Pacific - to me, "pacific north-west" makes me think "Australia" or something.
Curious: is there a "pacific north-east" in the US?

 

[Simon Bridge]

Official looking letter under the wipers - claiming there have been complaints about the car being the site of unrestrained sexual activity and would the owner please show some restraint in future or the authorities will be notified.

 

[edward]

TP his vehicle. Put jelly on his door handle and a piece of bread on the hood. Loosen his gas cap, on newer vehicles this should make his check engine light come on with no harm done.

 

[nsaspook]

Smoke bomb.

 

[lisab]

Lol, those are good. Not sure if I want to mess with his vehicle though, it's a big truck. He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.

He keeps his office locked, but if I get a chance I'll sneak in and do a CTRL+ALT+(down arrow). (Note: if you try this yourself, the keystrokes CTRL+ALT+(up arrow) reverses it :D. Go ahead and try it!)

 

[Gullik]

A prank that sounds fun, if you have access to his computer, is to make a costum script for his keyboard that makes it so every ten'th button he presses is exchanged with another letter. So he writes a lot of small spelling errors all the time.

 

[nuuskur]

Put salt in his morning coffee ^^

 

[2milehi]

Sell his car for cheap on craigslist. Use his email address so he won't be bombarded with phone calls.

If you can get to his computer

 

[Pythagorean]

Lol, those are good. Not sure if I want to mess with his vehicle though, it's a big truck. He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.

Oh dear. Then you might be doing him a favor!

 

[DiracPool]

Well here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest of the US, we get much rain. Much, much rain. And the rainy season has started -- it is Fall, you know. And it is dark late into the morning. In the middle of winter we arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark. (Yes I know you Nordic/Alaskan/Canadian/Russian PFers are not going to feel much sympathy for me on this point!)

Yes we are, and it has been rainy recently. However, it's still kind of warm and the humidity is so high, at least according to accuwheather. This is a confusing time for me because I've been so used to wearing shorts for the past 4 months, it seems uncomfortable to put long pants on. Plus, I've been walking around in flip-flops for 4 months too and it seems a pain in the arse to put socks on. So what I seem to do in this transitionary period is continue to wear the shorts and the flip flops, but carry around a jacket. Kinda weird, I know, but transitionary periods always are.

 

[Evo]

Lisab, if he's that much of a jack@ss, I would be worried. That's not normal past one day as a joke. I would key his truck, but that's just if I wanted to be nice. Egg his truck. ;)

Since you are 'friends" let the air out of his tires so that they are all nearly flat but driveable. Just an irritation like he's caused you. Other than that, coating his windshield with vaseline works.

 

[nuuskur]

Do NOT slash his tires.

 

[Enigman]

I am still in favor of a faked guilt trip. All others would seem to lead to an arms race. That or #8 by Simon.

 

[Borek]

Is there a parking space on both sides of your car? Can you park backwards? (No idea how to say it properly in English.) What I mean is - if he can block your driver's door, try to park your car in such a way he can block only the passenger side. Once his prank is useless, he may stop.

 

[256bits]

Just don't take his parking spot. Problem solved.

Although I have to agree with Evo, he can't be so much of a good friend if he acts like a jerk showing off his territorialism like that.
I think you have got yourself in a situation of office politics, and will have to gracefully exit, rather than escalate, since he's shown this behavior. It can get unfunny quite quickly.

Graceful exit - apologize for taking his spot without acknowledging it is his when you park there in the rain the next time. ie - it was gushing so much that you had no choice, he understandable, and you wish it could be sunny all the time so he would not be so inconvenienced. Something he can't argue with or would do for any girl in distress.

 

[nuuskur]

that's called "admitting defeat". Surely there's no such word in lisab's vocabulary :D

 

[leroyjenkens]

Park at a 45 degree angle across both spots.

 

[256bits]

that's called "admitting defeat". Surely there's no such word in lisab's vocabulary :D

Not really. The graceful exit is the beginning of a detente at work.
She makes sure on the next camping trip he gets the warm. or the skunky beer.

 

[Enigman]

During a break take your car and block his door?

 

[OmCheeto]

... He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.
...

A couple of years ago, my sister, nephew, and niece flew up to visit. They borrowed my brothers car, which has a rainbow license plate frame. My nephew refused to get in the car until the frame was removed. "I'm not getting in a GAY car. Someone might see me."

 

[lisab]

Is there a parking space on both sides of your car? Can you park backwards? (No idea how to say it properly in English.) What I mean is - if he can block your driver's door, try to park your car in such a way he can block only the passenger side. Once his prank is useless, he may stop.

Yes, I've done this.

 

[lisab]

Just don't take his parking spot. Problem solved.

Although I have to agree with Evo, he can't be so much of a good friend if he acts like a jerk showing off his territorialism like that.
I think you have got yourself in a situation of office politics, and will have to gracefully exit, rather than escalate, since he's shown this behavior. It can get unfunny quite quickly.

Graceful exit - apologize for taking his spot without acknowledging it is his when you park there in the rain the next time. ie - it was gushing so much that you had no choice, he understandable, and you wish it could be sunny all the time so he would not be so inconvenienced. Something he can't argue with or would do for any girl in distress.

You don't understand: he does not have a parking spot. No one does. It's first-come, first-served. If he wants to park in a particular place, he is welcome to do so...he just has to beat me into work. Apologize for parking in "his" spot? That's like apologizing for breathing "his" air. No way, no how.

I'm kind of surprised about some of the posts here...do you guys not kid around with your friends or family? He's not a jerk, he's a practical joker. There is no true animosity here!

 

[DiracPool]

There is no true animosity here!

You're the one that solicited evil thinkers, Lisa. Lol

 

[nuuskur]

lisab, you called upon evil thinkers :) Of course I understand it's all just for fun :P Do not back down, get him! (somehow)

 

[lisab]

lisab, you called upon evil thinkers :) Of course I understand it's all just for fun :p Do not back down, get him! (somehow)

I'm using the word "evil" in an almost rhetorical way, I don't want to cause any actual havoc in his life, no property damage.

An idea I had today might be just what I'm looking for. I strongly suspect it is a purely American thing, though. There are these, erm, items some guys hang from the back of their trucks. Disgusting, really. So I'll make a homemade pair for his truck, and install them without his knowledge. I'll let you use your imagination how they're going to look ;).

See? That's evil with no havoc, and no property damage.

 

[nuuskur]

Huge damage to pride, depending on what those gadgets are that are going to hang from the back of his ego :D

 

[Physics_UG]

So if he can park right next to your car it's not like he is much farther away from the door to the building. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[OmCheeto]

I'm using the word "evil" in an almost rhetorical way, I don't want to cause any actual havoc in his life, no property damage.

An idea I had today might be just what I'm looking for. I strongly suspect it is a purely American thing, though. There are these, erm, items some guys hang from the back of their trucks. Disgusting, really. So I'll make a homemade pair for his truck, and install them without his knowledge. I'll let you use your imagination how they're going to look ;).

See? That's evil with no havoc, and no property damage.

That was similar to one of my ideas, only much better.
Do it!

 

[Psinter]

Great thread, I love jokes:

1. Make some fake poop and splash it over his windshield to make it look like a huge Pterodactyl came and pooped his vehicle (with the mother of all poops). Then you can print and put this sticker on one of his windows:

http://opticalexpert.deviantart.com/art/Pterodactyl-man-1-297098172​

1. Make a fake windshield crack. Like http://www.instructables.com/id/fake-cracked-window/. Or if you have skills you could use windshield paint to make it look more real.
2. If you have money to spare you could costume one of your pets and do this:
3. Raise his wipers and put a set of eggs aligned. He will have to take them out before putting the wipers down.
4. If you have a good music equipment on your car leave one of your windows slightly opened and remotely turn on your stereo with some powerful bass that will make the whole floor and buildings shake when he gets close to your car. He will be scared if it happens and he sees no one inside.
5. You can customize 4 for sound effects and make firearms sounds. Very loud and accompanied by a shaking bass wave to make it feel real. You could also accompany them with police sirens and make it sound like a vehicle just crashed after a wild persecution. But very loud, like this: https://kiwi6.com/file/bunx0i84c6