Temporary marriage, it's about time

  • Thread starter Evo
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In summary: I don't even know what to call it. They were never married, but they were together for like... 46 years? It was never "legal". I don't think it would've made a difference.This is brilliant! I can't believe that it hasn't been done sooner. Marriage as a life long contract never made sense to me. How do you know if you'll still want to be married a few years from now? Apparently a lot of people don't and go through the expensive agony of divorce. Many more would cancel their marriage if it wasn't so expensive and have nasty lawyers pushing the opposing spouses to get more.I know, I've been through two divorces and it was the lawyers causing all of
  • #1
Evo
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This is brilliant! I can't believe that it hasn't been done sooner. Marriage as a life long contract never made sense to me. How do you know if you'll still want to be married a few years from now? Apparently a lot of people don't and go through the expensive agony of divorce. Many more would cancel their marriage if it wasn't so expensive and have nasty lawyers pushing the opposing spouses to get more. I know, I've been through two divorces and it was the lawyers causing all of the problems.

Mexico City lawmakers want to help newlyweds avoid the hassle of divorce by giving them an easy exit strategy: temporary marriage licenses.

Leftists in the city's assembly -- who have already riled conservatives by legalizing gay marriage -- proposed a reform to the civil code this week that would allow couples to decide on the length of their commitment, opting out of a lifetime.

The minimum marriage contract would be for two years and could be renewed if the couple stays happy. The contracts would include provisions on how children and property would be handled if the couple splits.

http://news.yahoo.com/til-2013-us-part-mexico-mulls-2-marriage-232608285.html
 
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  • #2
Bahh! This time I thought evo is getting married temporarily :-p . I got excited for a while until I read the first line .. :rolleyes:
 
  • #3
It actually makes a lot of sense, and I'd be much more willing to marry somebody if there was a trial run first.
 
  • #4
Jack21222 said:
It actually makes a lot of sense, and I'd be much more willing to marry somebody if there was a trial run first.
People would take marriage more seriously and make more of an effort if they knew their spouse could opt not to renew. The murder rate would drop.
 
  • #5
It does not make sense to me unless they ban permanent marriage. Who think they will divorce when they marry? And, if they are being realistic wouldn't it make sense just to live like a married couple same place for few years before actually getting married?

It might be mine lack of understanding about all this marriage business.
 
  • #6
rootX said:
It does not make sense to me unless they ban permanent marriage. Who think they will divorce when they marry? And, if they are being realistic wouldn't it make sense just to live like a married couple same place for few years before actually getting married?

It might be mine lack of understanding about all this marriage business.
There are benefits to getting married, taxes, insurance coverage, etc...
 
  • #7
This would also sort out long drawn out divorces. It would be easier just to separate until the contract expires.
 
  • #8
I like the idea. Not that I am interested at the moment :biggrin:
 
  • #9
AM I the only one who thinks that couples are more likely to divorce because of this "temporal marriage"

Are you two married? You look like a great couple!

Nah we are temporal couple, we might get a divorce soon, that's why our marriage is temporal.
 
  • #10
Yah this is a bit confusing.

So why do married couples get so many benefits again (in the US that is)? If the roots are some sort of belief that marriage is morally better and we tried to bring this to the US, wouldn't that fly in the face of the whole point of marriage?

Actually, none of this makes any sense. What would the point be? If marriage is basically assumed temporary, what is the point? If Mexico also gives benefits to married couples, then marriage simply becomes a special tax break and nothing more.

Also, Evo, are you still single? :!)
 
  • #11
rootX said:
Bahh! This time I thought evo is getting married temporarily :-p . I got excited for a while until I read the first line .. :rolleyes:
I thought the same thing. Thinking she was getting married long enough to get the furniture moved today.
 
  • #12
flyingpig said:
AM I the only one who thinks that couples are more likely to divorce because of this "temporal marriage"

Are you two married? You look like a great couple!

Nah we are temporal couple, we might get a divorce soon, that's why our marriage is temporal.

Considering many couples get divorced anyway I think this will alleviate tension. The idea that if you promise to be together the rest of your life actually makes it so is ridiculous. If you are going to be together you will be together regardless of marriage type.
 
  • #13
It would help to get to know the intended spouse before marriage. Date and then be engaged for two years before getting married. Get to know each others habits and hangups. Scrutinize the financial behaviors.

I am amazed how little some couples know about each other when and after they marry.

I have seen folks get married because they wanted to get married, but not necessarily to the person they marry. Hence divorce a few years later.

My parents were engaged for 7 years, primarily because my dad went to university and they didn't have facilities for married students. They've been married 55 years this coming Nov. Both sets of grandparents were married until death claimed one - both grandmas died prematurely.
 
  • #14
My wife and I are temporarily married. It has been 36+ years, and I think it might work out.
 
  • #15
turbo said:
My wife and I are temporarily married. It has been 36+ years, and I think it might work out.
You beat me to it turbo. By one post and 14 years,
 
  • #16
turbo said:
My wife and I are temporarily married. It has been 36+ years, and I think it might work out.
We're going 30 years next year, and together 31 years.

We got the lifetime guarantee. :biggrin:
 
  • #17
Astronuc said:
It would help to get to know the intended spouse before marriage. Date and then be engaged for two years before getting married. Get to know each others habits and hangups. Scrutinize the financial behaviors.

I am amazed how little some couples know about each other when and after they marry.

I have seen folks get married because they wanted to get married, but not necessarily to the person they marry. Hence divorce a few years later.

My parents were engaged for 7 years, primarily because my dad went to university and they didn't have facilities for married students. They've been married 55 years this coming Nov. Both sets of grandparents were married until death claimed one - both grandmas died prematurely.

I wonder if any studies have been done comparing the divorce rate vs. how long people lived together beforehand. Time to google :D
 
  • #18
Pengwuino said:
Evo, are you still single? :!)
Sorry, Evo doesn't date penguin's, even smart, but sinister ones like YOU !

Rhody... o:) :devil:
 
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  • #19
Pengwuino said:
I wonder if any studies have been done comparing the divorce rate vs. how long people lived together beforehand. Time to google :D
I believe there are such studies. I heard about one, long ago, that seemed to indicate that cohabitation did not improve the probability of staying together, i.e., the divorce rate was about the same or higher for cohabitants.

Some mutual friends of my wife and I lived together, and they got married after we did. The woman wanted to get married, and the fellow really didn't, but he relented. They divorced about 5 or so years later. He remarried (to a younger girl) and she didn't.
 
  • #20
Do you think lifetime of marriage is a challenge? Join the Mormons and you can get married for eternity! According to their beliefs, a temple marriage doesn't end with death.

My parents knew each other about three weeks before they got engaged, and about another month or so before they got married. They had been married about 51 years when dad died.

Crud, a quick check of the math says it was 55 years...I think. It seems like their 50th anniversary was just the other day. :sad:
 
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  • #21
Ivan Seeking said:
Do you think lifetime of marriage is a challenge? Join the Mormons and you can get married for eternity! According to their beliefs, a temple marriage doesn't end with death.

My parents knew each other about three weeks before they got engaged, and about another month or so before they got married. They had been married about 51 years when dad died.

I wonder why they were in so much rush .. :eek:
 
  • #22
Note:
You are currently on a trial licence. Please select one of the following options to register for standard lifetime licence>

[ ] Register Online
[ ] Enter Serial Code
[ ] Register Later
 
  • #23
rootX said:
I wonder why they were in so much rush .. :eek:

They both said they knew almost instantly that he/she was THE one.
 
  • #24
What are the real benefits of marriage anyway? I mean the benefits of a legal wedding, not the whole companionship aspect. I think you can get the latter of that without any sort of legal gridlock. I guess it's a big deal if your spouse would need to be on your healthcare? It seems like it would save a lot of people some trouble if they just had a wedding, but didn't inform the court system.
 
  • #25
You've got to be kidding me, Evo. :smile:

Terrible choice for a thread title! Although it's not as bad as "Bye, bye, Evo."

You do find it brilliant, though. Is this something you'd consider? :biggrin: :devil:
 
  • #26
Dembadon said:
You've got to be kidding me, Evo. :smile:

Terrible choice for a thread title! Although it's not as bad as "Bye, bye, Evo."

You do find it brilliant, though. Is this something you'd consider? :biggrin: :devil:
I'd consider a temporary marriage.

The thread title was accidental. :-p
 
  • #27
Evo said:
I'd consider a temporary marriage.

The thread title was accidental. :-p

I think the rest of the women in the world (who may not be quite as extraordinary as yourself) would be put off by the notion of a temporary marriage. It almost reminds me of the idea of a pre-nup. Sure, it's a great, logical, safe idea, but in practice it's almost rude to ask for I would think.
 
  • #28
how about a 1 year contract that automatically switches over to month-to-month after the year?
 
  • #29
The unfortunate thing about a temporary marriage is that it will devalue all of the other 'marriage benefits' overtime. I think you'll see many spousal-benefits get drastically reduced over time as marriage becomes more trivialized.

If you want to marry someone - do it for the right reasons, not just for their health insurance for a year.

I also agree with QC - "Will you be my wife... for a year?" sounds like a poor proposal and this type of temporary marriage is just there to 'game' the system.
 
  • #30
mege said:
I also agree with QC - "Will you be my wife... for a year?" sounds like a poor proposal and this type of temporary marriage is just there to 'game' the system.
Why do people assume that women are needy leeches?

It's the government that is instituting this option to help people. Divorce rates are extemely high, they are expensive, and usually traumatic to some degree. A lot of people suffer in bad marriages, this would give them options to get out of a bad marriage and maybe find a healthy relationship. If you fear that your spouse is going to leave you if you don't have a legal hold on them, then you have problems with your relationship.

Not infering that you have problems, just generalizing.

Also, I'm sure people that want a lifetime marriage can still get one, so it's giving people options. Options are a good thing. One size does not fit all.

I'm pretty sure I will never remarry unless it's short term and renewable. Probably won't happen in the US in my lifetime. I'm surprised that Mexico is so much more progressive than the US.
 
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  • #31
mege said:
"Will you be my wife... for a year?"
:smile:
 
  • #32
Evo, I meant in no way to insinuate that women are leeches. I just think that the idea of a temporary or specialized marriage would not fly with the fairy tale image that we are led to believe exists in marriage.
 
  • #33
Wouldn't it be simple enough to prepare a prenup that essentually reads like the Mexico version, or at least has the same basic effect?
 
  • #34
Wouldn't some change in the divorce law (to make it not expensive) do the purpose?
 
  • #35
Evo said:
Why do people assume that women are needy leeches?

Its not that women are needy leeches but that there is a not entirely unearned reputation for women to respond rather emotionally to things that could be construed as an insult.
 

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