Should You Buy Christmas Gifts Only When Convinced They're Unnecessary?

[gravenewworld]

anyone can give me a convincing argument that I should buy them something that they don't need.


So far for the past 6 years I haven't had to buy anything! It's great, you should try the same thing.

 

[matthyaouw]

Tried it. "Do it, or you're not getting any for two months" was a pretty convincing argument.

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, if only I could convince my family to do away with gift trading, I'd be so happy. But, no, every year I have to go hunting for something for my parents, when I have no idea what they need or want anymore. Sometime after Christmas, I finally make it to the post office with the packages, usually reminded when mom whines over the phone, "We didn't receive any presents from you, did you send any?" Sometime in March, I get an email from my mom, "The check I sent you for Christmas still hasn't cleared, please cash it so I can balance my checkbook." Sometime around May she reminds me of that again. I then respond that I have no idea where it is, probably got thrown out with all the other Christmas cards amidst the junk mail. She grumbles and sends another check and tells me if I find the old one, let her know and to make sure I shred it before throwing it out. By July, I finally give up the battle and cash the stupid check.

Some people are fun to exchange gifts with, because you know what they really want or need, and they know what you really want or need, and while you could each buy it for yourselves, it's more fun to buy them for each other. That's not the case with my parents. They usually send me something I don't want or need, I probably send them something they don't want or need, and it's just a waste of money. Worse, is when they trap me by sending checks. Should I just turn around and write them a check in the same amount? Net cost, just slightly under a dollar for the two stamps to send each other a check? No, of course if they sent a check, I can't send them one back, so I'm still stuck having to find something to buy.

Yes, I'm ranting. This is NOT the fun part of the holiday. I'd rather just stick to spoiling the kids rotten and not worry about adults.

 

[Evo]

We've stopped most gift giving, for the girls they just want money. My oldest and her boyfriend are taking me out to the finest steak restaurant in town, and she is doing a drawing for me (she's a very talented artist).

Child of Evo hopefully will get me the Robin of Sherwood PBS DVD set. :!)

 

[Mk]

anyone can give me a convincing argument that I should buy them something that they don't need.


So far for the past 6 years I haven't had to buy anything! It's great, you should try the same thing.

I'm all about this philosophy too. Jeez.

 

[turbo]

My wife and I gave up Christmas gift-giving at least 20 years ago. Instead we concentrate on making our family's Christmas Eve get-together into a feast. It's not real cheap, and it's a lot of work, but cooking is way more fun than shopping for presents. Gotta have a big fillet of Atlantic salmon hickory-smoked in a maple-syrup glaze, a roast turkey of course, clam dip made with whole baby clams and lots of lemon juice for tang, crackers, cheeses, smoked oysters, sardines, etc, with mustards, salsas, and sweet hot-chili jellies for the little ones and those who can't take my hotter stuff.

 

[out of whack]

anyone can give me a convincing argument that I should buy them something that they don't need.

Hmm, let's see... Everyone needs air, water and food. Depending on the climate, some people also need shelter. Unattractive people need clothing. Yep, that's all I can think of. Everything else is "want" instead of "need".

 

[JasonRox]

anyone can give me a convincing argument that I should buy them something that they don't need.

So far for the past 6 years I haven't had to buy anything! It's great, you should try the same thing.

I'm starting this year. I'm not buying anyone anything. I told everyone not to buy me anything this year. If they buy me something, it's their problem.

I'm doing a lot of Christmas things though. Just gifts isn't one of them.

 

[JasonRox]

My wife and I gave up Christmas gift-giving at least 20 years ago. Instead we concentrate on making our family's Christmas Eve get-together into a feast. It's not real cheap, and it's a lot of work, but cooking is way more fun than shopping for presents. Gotta have a big fillet of Atlantic salmon hickory-smoked in a maple-syrup glaze, a roast turkey of course, clam dip made with whole baby clams and lots of lemon juice for tang, crackers, cheeses, smoked oysters, sardines, etc, with mustards, salsas, and sweet hot-chili jellies for the little ones and those who can't take my hotter stuff.

I agree. That's much better.

I really enjoy the feeling of going to and being at a great diner.

 

[turbo]

I agree. That's much better.

I really enjoy the feeling of going to and being at a great diner.

We did that with our closest friends and their daughters every Christmas day until the girls got old enough to get involved with starting their own families and and dealing with their in-laws and/or out-of-state ongoing education.

Typical Christmas dinners lasted all afternoon and into the evening (interspersed with games, conversation and music) and included my hot (spicy) home-made pizzas with home-made sauce, spicy hickory-smoked steak strips, eggrolls, taco-dip, clam-dip, lots of crackers, cheeses, smoked seafoods, hot sauces, mustards. The older daughter spurred her parents to get to our place early every year so she could help me load my charcoal-fired smoker with the marinated steak strips and taste-test them until they got just a little past rare. I would give the girls choices about which foods they wanted, and their primary choice would definitely be honored, while their follow-up choices would be weighed against the wishes of others. Those two cuties tag-teamed me almost every year, with one choosing the smoked marinated steak strips, the other choosing eggrolls, and both asking for my thin-crust pizza with hot home-made pizza sauce. That way, they got all three favorites along with a whole bunch of other treats. We don't get together with these young ladies for Christmas anymore due to geographic considerations, their own families and in-laws, etc. but they still want me to cook their favorites when they show up for visits, and I've developed a few more favorites, like my hot marinated grilled jumbo shrimp - I have to plan on at least 1/2# of shrimp per person, and we still always run out (in the presence of lots of other foods!).

 

[Cyrus]

Guys guys guys. Your missing the entire point of celebrating the birth of christ...to buy junk at the shipping mall! - where is your holiday spirit? Jerry falwell is turning in his firey grave.

 

[turbo]

Guys guys guys. Your missing the entire point of celebrating the birth of christ...to buy junk at the shipping mall! - where is your holiday spirit? Pat robertson is turning in his firey grave.

Mine is single-malt scotch. PM me for my shipping address.

 

[Cyrus]

I did not know you were Irish Catholic?

 

[turbo]

I did not know you were Irish Catholic?

I was raised Catholic, and am probably about equal parts, French, Indian and Irish. There are two large coastal islands off Harpswell, ME named for both sides of my father's Irish family who came here during the potato famines. Unfortunately we don't own pieces of either of them (nor could we afford to pay the taxes on them if we did.)

 

[Cyrus]

How many kids you have? 22 ....ALL CATHOLIC

 

[turbo]

How many kids you have? 22 ....ALL CATHOLIC

None. I rejected Catholicism in my teens, and since my wife and I both grew up in large families we decided to spend our lives with each other and not with a gaggle of kids.

 

[BobG]

anyone can give me a convincing argument that I should buy them something that they don't need.


So far for the past 6 years I haven't had to buy anything! It's great, you should try the same thing.

You should read John Grisham's book "Skipping Christmas". I enjoyed it much more than his lawyer stories (although two or three of those were very good).

 

[Moonbear]

You should read John Grisham's book "Skipping Christmas". I enjoyed it much more than his lawyer stories (although two or three of those were very good).

Do you think if I wrapped it up and gave it to my mom for Christmas that she'd get the hint?

 

[BobG]

Do you think if I wrapped it up and gave it to my mom for Christmas that she'd get the hint?

Uh, yeah? Except I'm not sure it would be the hint you were thinking of, though.

 

[turbo]

Uh, yeah? Except I'm not sure it would be the hint you were thinking of, though.

Yup! My daughter gave me this great book for Christmas! That's better than the tea towels from last year, so I'll have to get her something really nice next year.

 

[Moonbear]

Uh, yeah? Except I'm not sure it would be the hint you were thinking of, though.

I guess I better go look up what the book is about.

 

[scorpa]

I hate buying presents, it isn't so bad for my sister but for my parents it is impossible. They don't need anything, and anything that is actually nice that they might want I can't afford, I usually end up finding something small they would like but it takes forever. I think last year I ended up getting my mom a shirt and my dad something for his harley and it cost me a small fortune. Luckily this year they told me not to get them anything because I am a bit short of cash, so I think I will just try to take them out for a nice meal when I go home.

 

[Cyrus]

I don't understand why anyone should expect anything, ever.

Buy me a diamond ring for our anniversary, or you don't love me! How about I trade you in for a new model that doesn't complain and has less milage?

 

[Moonbear]

I don't understand why anyone should expect anything, ever.

Buy me a diamond ring for our anniversary, or you don't love me! How about I trade you in for a new model that doesn't complain and has less milage?

 

[wolram]

If it were not for christmas i would have go sock less, and mom would have 2 dozen odd pairs of earrings.

 

[gravenewworld]

How many kids you have? 22 ....ALL CATHOLIC

why do people say that Catholics have large families? I went to Catholic school for 17 years and rarely did anyone ever have more than 2-3 kids. If you want to talk about large families see Mormonism.

 

[Moonbear]

why do people say that Catholics have large families? I went to Catholic school for 17 years and rarely did anyone ever have more than 2-3 kids. If you want to talk about large families see Mormonism.

Catholic families used to be very large. It's not as common anymore, because most ignore that little detail about not using birth control, but back when people followed the church's teachings much more faithfully, 4 or 5 kids would have been a small family, and the only birth control was that mom was too dang tired by the end of the day to have any interest in dad touching her.

 

[turbo]

why do people say that Catholics have large families? I went to Catholic school for 17 years and rarely did anyone ever have more than 2-3 kids. If you want to talk about large families see Mormonism.

It's a generational thing, gnw. I was born in 1952, and I went to public schools with French R-C families that were much larger than ours. Many had 12-14-16 kids or more. These people were French/Catholics from northern Maine or Canada that had grown up farming, and big families were the norm. Of course, if your farming enterprise died in the post-depression era, it was a bit of a wake-up to move to a mill-town for work and see how may kids you could shoehorn into a tiny house. And to see how many of them you could feed and clothe on a millworker's wage. Like my own family, these folks made ends meet by gardening, foraging, picking wild berries, collecting apples from abandoned farms, fishing, hunting, you name it. Our most valuable possession was a huge Norge chest freezer. We never discarded food scraps - everything with any nutritional value was saved to feed the pigs that we raised communally on my uncle's farm, and believe me, when you've got 2-3 wise old French great-aunts running the kitchen during the slaughtering/butchering operation, about the only things that got tossed were the bristles off the hogs' backs. We got by.

 

[Moonbear]

about the only things that got tossed were the bristles off the hogs' backs. We got by.

What, no hairbrushes or dustbrooms made out of them?

 

[Math Jeans]

Buying presents is great when it benefits you and the person who you got the gift for.

I'm getting my girlfriend a webcam .

 

[turbo]

Catholic families used to be very large. It's not as common anymore, because most ignore that little detail about not using birth control, but back when people followed the church's teachings much more faithfully, 4 or 5 kids would have been a small family, and the only birth control was that mom was too dang tired by the end of the day to have any interest in dad touching her.

Yes! By the time the late 50's - early 60's came around the rhythm method had fallen out of favor and family-size started to drop. I grew up with the younger end (born 1950-1965) of a family that had 18 kids. The father was a mill-worker and the mother was a cleaner/housekeeper for the family that owned the mill. They never owned much of any economic value, but some of their kids were the nicest people I've ever known. Proud, hard-working, decent folks who never asked for help, and who contributed a steady stream of altar-boys to the local parish.

 

[turbo]

What, no hairbrushes or dustbrooms made out of them?

Fuller Brush was well established by the time that I was trustworthy enough to lug the washbasins of blood to the kitchen (maybe '57 or '58). If you dropped a pail of small or large intestines in the dirt, no problem. If you dropped a pan of blood in the dirt (or even spilled a little), the great-aunts would cut you a new one, and your aunts and mother would stand by while you took your medicine. Blood sausage was highly-prized and the women of child-bearing age had first dibs.

 

[turbo]

I should mention that the tongue-lashings were proportional to your understanding of French. The great-aunts would feel free to cut loose with lots of body language and inflection if they thought that you might not not understand everything. I never spoke French to my elders (a shame, but because my mother was dumped into a Maine community at age 6 knowing NO English, she thought that the older members of our extended clan should learn English if they were going to live here, and she made no real effort to teach us French). About the time I was age 6 or 7, one of my great-aunts and my mother got a little surprise, though. She came to visit us, and she was upset. She and my mother switched directly into French for the whole visit, and when my great-aunt had left, I asked "When is Betty-Anne going to have her baby?" Mom asked me where I had heard such a thing and I repeated (in English translation) everything that my great-aunt had said. After that, I was sometimes invited to play outside in the rain or snow. Betty-Anne was in HS and was not married.