Scientific Comebacks: Get a Clever Response from a Physicist

[Atomos]

Yo momma is so fat and slow that she gets to the buffet table by literally taking every possible path to it.

Ahahaha

Yo momma is so fat that a Bose-Einstein condensate is left on her seat...made of fermions.

 

[Maxwell]

Yo momma so stupid she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm

Hahaha!

 

[SticksandStones]

Yo momma's so dumb the inside of her skull is the only known perfect vacuum.

 

[ranger]

Just put all your comebacks into one reply man. its annoying reading through all those replies every 2 minutes.

 

[Rach3]

Just put all your comebacks into one reply man. its annoying reading through all those replies every 2 minutes.

But it takes so long to come up with them!

edit: all right, I'm working on it...

 

[Rach3]

Rach3's vaguely physics-related insults

Praise the muses!

In chronological order:

Yo mamma so dumb, she looked into the laser beam with her remaining eye.

Yo mamma so dumb, she mistook a lead radiation-shielding brick for her tinfoil hat and died.

Yo momma so dumb, she's John Marburger.

Yo mamma so dense, she works at a nuclear research laboratory. As shielding.

Yo mamma so dense, everywere she goes the bystanders learn about general relativity.

Yo mamma so dumb, GWB personally appointed her as director of NASA climate research.

Yo momma so dumb, she drove 130 miles to attend a protest against a nuclear plant and it's shameless polluting of the environment.

Yo mamma so dumb, she thought "cosmic microwave background radiation" meant her kitchen appliance was malfunctioning.

Yo momma so dumb, she works for NSA cryptography. As a random-number generator.

Yo momma so dumb, she invented a new tinfoil-hat replacement. It's actually a hair gel, not a foil. And it's made of mercury.

Yo mamma so dumb, she even wears tinfoil sunglasses.

Yo momma so dumb, she not only believes in hidden-variables quantum mechanics, she converses with them!

Yo momma so dumb, she drove her contour integral into a pole, escaping with minor injuries.

Yo momma so fat, she rolls along the road as a perfect frictionless sphere, without slipping.

Yo mamma so dumb, she looked into a curved mirror and fell over.

New ones (27/12) start here:

Yo mamma's so fat, she's not allowed to visit LIGO or anywhere in a 10-mile radius.

Yo mamma so fat, whenever she falls down the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban monitoring system sounds an alert.

Yo mamma so fat, most physics labs prohibit her from entering their doors (cause the lasers bend towards her).

Yo mamma so fat that, first time she set foot in Thailand, everyone ran uphill.

Yo mamma so fat, when she goes on vacation, she hires a C-130 for airlifting.

Yo mamma so heavy, if she were air-launched, she would be legally defined as a WMD.

Yo mamma so fat, her stomach lining doubles as a relativistic event horizon.

Your mamma so dumb, she tried counting the integers. Only took her half a minute to finish.

Yo mamma so dumb, she saw a guy choking, so she tried clearing his esophagus with drain-o.

Yo mamma so dumb, she looked at an oscilloscope screen and got dizzy.

Yo mamma so dumb, her PhD thesis title had the words "Lorentz attractor"...

Yo mamma so dumb, when she was working with a pendulum in an intro-physics lab, it caught on fire and killed eleven, injured fifty-six (four seriously).

Yo mamma so stupid, even John Marburger looks up to her.

Yo mamma so dumb, she taped the "ground" wire to the non-conductive floor.

Yo mamma so fat, the layers of her fat have earthquakes.

Yo mamma so fat, her fundmental resonant frequency is in the deep infransonic.

Yo mamma so dumb, her logic has been shown to violate Bell inequalities.

Yo mamma so big, an experienced surgeon got lost inside her (took three days to find a way out).

Yo mamma so heavy, she buys clothes based on their ultraviolet spectrum.

Yo mamma so heavy, she can kill a guy just by rotating about an axis.

 

[Gokul43201]

Yo mamma's so fat, she's not allowed to visit LIGO or anywhere in a 10-mile radius.

This needs some disambiguation. While it appears you are speaking of the error introduced from momma emitting gravitational waves as she approaches LIGO, I believe a greater source of error comes from the vibrational noise caused by momma as she walks about.

Yo mamma so fat, her fundmental resonant frequency is in the deep infransonic.

(putting on best Maurice Gibb voice) How deep is her tone? The average human body resonates at infrasonic frequencies (~2 to 6 Hz). Also, this doesn't necessarily mean momma's fat. She could also be of a very low stiffness constant. In other words, yo momma's so loose, her fundamental... PS: These umm...insults are completely tasteless and degrading! For shame!

 

[waht]

Yo momma is so stupid that she though that the plum-pudding model was a diet.

Hahaha, Yo mamma is so stupid when she took a deriviative of natural log she got one over napier.

Yo mamma is so fat she farts hawking's radiation.

Yo mamma is so fat she couldn't tunnel through a well.

Yo mamma was so shocked when made love to Faraday, that he had to lock her in a cage.

Yo mamma is so fat, she is an observable.