Klutz Alert: Cleaning Up the Mess at Home

[wolram]

I have just got home from a sh** ty night, and i know i am a household klutz
but i do like every thing to be clean and tidy, and every thing is covered in soot, even my lap top has soot on it, my chairs my electric fire every thing
how the heck can i clean this lot up.

 

[Pengwuino]

get to work

 

[Lisa!]

I guess I've already told you what you really need in your life! I mean that way you have the motivation for cleaning your home and lots of other things...

 

[wolram]

I guess I've already told you what you really need in your life! I mean that way you have the motivation for cleaning your home and lots of other things...

Not funny any more, i just do not know how to clean this mess up, if i wipe it it makes it worse, every thing is black,

 

[Lisa!]

Change your house?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a rotten day.

Wouldn't a vac work?

Oh yes, screw it! You're alive and tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

What happened?

 

[wolram]

What happened?

I do not know there is still soot coming down the chimney, and larger bits,
i really can not cope with this, my carpet , chairs, every thing will have to be dumped, sod the world

 

[rcgldr]

A vacuum cleaner should pick up most of the soot, but you'll go through several vacuum bags in the process. Try not to get anything wet. If you have a dehumidifier, use it as it will make the soot easier to pick up with the vacuum cleaner.

 

[wolram]

A vacuum cleaner should pick up most of the soot, but you'll go through several vacuum bags in the process. Try not to get anything wet. If you have a dehumidifier, use it as it will make the soot easier to pick up with the vacuum cleaner.

Thanks Jeff, i have the worst of it up but every thing is ruined, i think i will have to replace all my stuff, every thing i toch is black.

 

[Lisa!]

what time is it in UK, sir? Must be around 8AM, eh?

 

[rcgldr]

Keep vacuuming, way for a time when it's drier inside. Some things, like cushion covers, can be unzipped, removed and washed in a washing machine on gentle cycle. I once spilled some carbon dust meant to be used as a lubricant, but was able to vacuum it out eventually.

After vacuuming, you should be able to get your carpeting washed as well.

 

[wolram]

what time is it in UK, sir? Must be around 8AM, eh?

Have a good laugh on me Lisa, i am so peed off i do not care any more
nothing seems to work for me, try as i might, i loved the stuff i had and now it is junk, even my clothes are impregnated with this black, s,h,i,t.

 

[Lisa!]

No, I'm not laughing at you! I just thought that you might get home very late at night and haven't got a rest, so you must be too tired. and you know when we're tired, we think every task is very difficult!

 

[wolram]

No, I'm not laughing at you! I just thought that you might get home very late at night and haven't got a rest, so you must be too tired. and you know when we're tired, we think every task is very difficult!

I know you are good of heart Lisa, but mine is broken, i thought i would would be so happy with my own place, but now---------------.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

Leave it break out the booze, get wasted wake up the next day and then remember the crap that happened again. Now I know it's just delaying the inevitable but if you drink enough you'll have bigger things to worry about in the morning, so again back to bed and recover Do this enough times and eventually your house will clean itself(no really, people will come round and offer to help you clean it) Or at the worst you will stop noticing it's dirty. By this time of course you will be an alcaholic and very little will worry you except the days and weeks that are missing from your fragmented mind.

Seriously I wouldn't worry too much soot cleans up nice enough in the washing machine, at least from clothes and fabrics, so I suspect it looks bad but a bit of elbow grease should get everything sparkling again.

Oh and I seem to remember that Sartre said something about judging only those who have contemplated suicide as being intelectually competent, I'm paraphrasing but something like that, take comfort in the fact that although you have a dirty house you are an intelectual. That's worth living for surely

 

[Evo]

I know you are good of heart Lisa, but mine is broken, i thought i would would be so happy with my own place, but now---------------.

Aw Woolie, there isn't anything I can't get clean. I'll bring my steam cleaner, it may take awhile, but it will suck the soot out.

{{{hugs wolram}}}

 

[Danger]

Sorry I can't help you on this one, Woolie. I don't know how to clean anything. I do know, however, that carbon is a persistent but beatable foe. I used to get graphite powder all over my clothes and other places when I was locksmithing (it's the only proper lubricant for locks). I'd wipe my hands on my pants if there wasn't a rag or something nearby. It always came out in the wash.
Hard surfaces, of course, should present no problem. Just wipe them down with a rag and water or commercial cleaner like Windex or Bon Ami.

So... what ended up happening with your tank problem at work?

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, poor woolie! I went to sleep last night before hearing about this latest problem. I hope you decided to give up and get some sleep before tackling this beast.

The biggest problem with soot is it just keeps transferring...clean one surface, then turn around, and somehow you've rubbed it again and it's all dirty again. The thing is, with each pass, the layer gets thinner and easier to clean. I don't know what's going on with the fireplace to suddenly start spewing the soot, but block it off until you can get a handle on it so it doesn't continue making a mess.

For everything else, just work on it slowly. Patience is your friend here. You're going to have to clean everything multiple times before you get it all up. As recommended, vacuum everything you can multiple times to get up all the loose dust you can before starting in with washing things. Once it's time to switch over to cleaners and scrubbing stuff, you're going to need a large bucket of water or a LOT of cleaning cloths/rags, because every time you pass a cloth over the surface, you'll need to rinse it or change it so it doesn't smear what's already on it around the next part of the surface.

If there's anything you can just take outside and hose down, that'll be the easiest to clean.

The clothes you'll have to wash a few times each, so it'll be a slow process too. Each wash will get them a bit cleaner. Start with the dark clothes, as it won't seem as dreadful with those, because if they aren't 100% soot-free, it won't be as easy to tell. Then work on the light colored stuff and whites. You can let the whites soak in bleach solution overnight after most of the soot is out to get the remaining discoloration out.

For carpets, you might need to rent a more commercial grade carpet cleaner to really steam out those stains, same for any upholstery. Oh...look in the phone book and see if there's someone in your area who specializes in cleaning after fires...they might be able to get the more stubborn stuff out and know some additional tips and tricks for cleaning up soot.

I think you better give Kia a call too...this job will take reinforcements. Maybe ask over the neighbor whose kitty you were out helping out of the tree...maybe she'd even bring over her kids...kids are a good source of elbow grease when you need it.

Good luck. I know this is probably even seeming worse after having such a rough day at work too.

 

[wolram]

Thankyou for the kind words everyone, i did not go to bed today, i spent 5 hrs cleaning, i had to stop a few time as my vacuum cleaner got to hot,
every thing is almost as clean as it was before, except the brick work fire place, i will have to get some cleaning stuff for that?

I have to have another go at getting that nut out of the tank tonight, i had to disconnect the pipe and let the nut drop

 

[hypatia]

Sorry to hear you had such a mess. I've had to clean up a few like that myself. You'll need a good stuff brush to clean the brick, along with 50/50 mix of white vinegar and water. It worked very well for me.
I may also suggest a vent pipe/chimney brush, cleaning it every few months will keep the disasters down to a managable mess.

 

[Leah]

Call Merry Maids. I did.

 

[wolram]

Sorry to hear you had such a mess. I've had to clean up a few like that myself. You'll need a good stuff brush to clean the brick, along with 50/50 mix of white vinegar and water. It worked very well for me.
I may also suggest a vent pipe/chimney brush, cleaning it every few months will keep the disasters down to a managable mess.

Thanks Hypatia, i was going to have the chimney swept later in the year,
i do not use it in the summer, i use the hallogen electric, i guess i should have had it done when i first moved in.

 

[Moonbear]

I guess on the bright side you can be thankful it was just a sooty mess rather than a chimney fire with that much soot built up in the chimney.

Glad to hear you've managed to get most of it cleaned up. What a chore! There are times when it's wonderful to own your own home, and times when it really, truly sucks eggs! Fortunately, the latter doesn't happen quite so often, but when you get through it, it's always a good excuse to celebrate, even if it's just in a small way with a nice dinner cooked for yourself.

 

[Danger]

Cook it himself?! Are you daft, ma'am? He should find that wonk who put the wrong pipe on the tank and make the bugger buy him a filet.

 

[Moonbear]

Cook it himself?! Are you daft, ma'am? He should find that wonk who put the wrong pipe on the tank and make the bugger buy him a filet.

Would you entrust someone who did something that nutty to provide a meal for you?

 

[Evo]

Isn't the soot fallout a result of the gargantuan flame up that singed wolram's eyebrows off? The soot is just now falling off.

 

[wolram]

Isn't the soot fallout a result of the gargantuan flame up that singed wolram's eyebrows off? The soot is just now falling off.

I think i will have to join the girl guides and learn all about fires.

I am thinking about blocking that fire place up for ever, and geting a
portable gas fire (bottle gas) we do not have mains.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Wolly, why didn't you just program your robot to clean it up?

 

[wolram]

Wolly, why didn't you just program your robot to clean it up?

Omg, now i am seeing things ,i am sure i just saw two cats in your avatar
, i had all most forgoten about my robot, i left him at mom and dads place, any way he would be no good he kept falling over and bumping into things, oh yes (who programed him) may be i should have given him some senses

 

[Moonbear]

Omg, now i am seeing things ,i am sure i just saw two cats in your avatar

I just noticed the change too. It's from Riki Tiki Tavi...now the song "we are Siamese if you please" is stuck in my head because that's the only line of the song I can remember.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Omg, now i am seeing things ,i am sure i just saw two cats in your avatar
, i had all most forgoten about my robot, i left him at mom and dads place, any way he would be no good he kept falling over and bumping into things, oh yes (who programed him) may be i should have given him some senses

Don't worry, Wolly. I am going to college to learn how to give robots "feelings". I'll help you make a robot that not only cleans up a sooty house, but sympathizes with you when these sort of crises happen.

MoonB, that's not from Riki Tiki Tavi -- guess again! And quickly before Zz comes in here!

 

[wolram]

I just noticed the change too. It's from Riki Tiki Tavi...now the song "we are Siamese if you please" is stuck in my head because that's the only line of the song I can remember.

I think there should be a forum rule about doing away with sexy blonds
and adopting cartoon cats I agree whole heartedly MoonB it is
mental cruelty.

 

[Moonbear]

MoonB, that's not from Riki Tiki Tavi -- guess again! And quickly before Zz comes in here!

Oh, doh! Lady and the Tramp! Why did I think Riki Tiki Tavi? I think it must be about bed time.

 

[wolram]

Don't worry, Wolly. I am going to college to learn how to give robots "feelings". I'll help you make a robot that not only cleans up a sooty house, but sympathizes with you when these sort of crises happen.

Can you make me one like those two school kids did in the cool science film?
or make it in your own image that would do