Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

In summary, moving on from high school can be a time of conflicting emotions for many individuals. While it marks the end of a significant chapter in one's life, it also brings about the excitement and uncertainty of new beginnings. The nostalgia for the past and the fear of the future can create a sense of conflict within oneself. However, it is important to embrace these conflicting feelings and use them as motivation to grow and move forward. Whether it is pursuing higher education, starting a career, or exploring new opportunities, the process of moving on from high school is a natural and necessary part of life.
  • #456


Originally posted by Hurkyl
And both of y'all focus too much on looks.
Me??
 
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  • #457
Sure, he has to dress nice, have good skin... no baggy clothes! Of course, you're not nearly as bad as Prudens. :smile:


Really, going to a movie doesn't need to be staring at a screen for three hours like a statue you know..

Gak, now I'm getting all nervous again. I was happy just working up the courage to ask her out!
 
  • #458
Don't worry, SHE'll probably be all over YOU
 
  • #459
Don't worry, SHE'll probably be all over YOU

!
 
  • #460
Gee, now I am wondering how he took the 'no dating' reply.. maybe he now DOES think that a date is possible after I'm done with my exams, gee.

He WAS cheerfull when I chatted later that evening, ordering me to go to sleep since it was past bedtime..

Ohwell..
 
  • #461
Sigh, sometimes I hate being right. :frown: Well, all is not lost, since you didn't mean to mislead him, I"m sure he'll understand if he did get that impression.

You going to say anything to him? When are your exams?
 
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  • #462
Originally posted by Hurkyl
... no baggy clothes!

I like baggy clothes...
 
  • #463


Originally posted by Monique

Really, going to a movie doesn't need to be staring at a screen for three hours like a statue you know..


:(
[b(]
 
  • #464
Monique, it sounds to me as if he wants to date you but he's either 1. shy or 2. afraid of ruining the friendship, so he's approaching it cautiously. If he wasn't interested in dating you, he would have spoken up when you mentioned it and said "hey, it's not a date, I just want to hang out, so chill princess" Or at least that's what I'd say:wink:.. So your best bet is to just let sleeping dogs lie, if you value the friendship. Pretend it didn't happen. If he tries again, make it quite clear to him (in a nice way of course) that you're only interested in him as a friend.

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.

I get along really well with women- I'm THAT guy. I'm the kind of guy who is just more comfortable around women than guyss for some reason. (I'm not looking for a psychoanalysis, so spare me please). Anyhow, I haven't had a lot of Good long term female friends, but there is one. I've known her, or I should say KNEW her, for about 8 or 9 years. we kind of grew up together, though we met as teenagers. Now this girl is the kind of girl who turns heads. size zero, blond hair, blue eyes..you get the picture(I'm sure now the women already hate her). Anyhow, she was younger than me, so dating was just never dicussed. But over the course of years we grew quite close. She became like a sister to me, but not quite. I never had the intention of seeing her in any way other than platonically. I knew her boyfriends, she knew my girlfriends(who were consequently insanely jealous, so I stopped introducing them after a while- didn't matter HOW much I told them she was a friend, they just didn't like her because she was good looking). But I digress. Anyhow, over the course of years I gradually developed feelings for her. She was younger, but she was very intelligent-moreso than any of my friends at the time, and also very intuitive-beyond her years. I'd go to her first for advice- And usually most people come to ME for advice. (I guess that shows that EVERYONE has a mentor.. hehee). Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course received the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her. Before I told her, none of this was ever an issue. It all came to a head about a year ago- Just before I moved to a different state. She'd been smoking more and more weed, barely still in school, and she'd had an episode where she'd been in the hospital. A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression and she's SUPPOSED to be taking epinephrin. I don't know if she'd stopped. Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happened between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.

Any advice? comments? I sent her an xmas card this year, but I didn't leave a return address. I was contemplating calling her, but I feel like it would be a waste of time.
 
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  • #465
Originally posted by Zantra
Monique, it sounds to me as if he wants to date you but he's either 1. shy or 2. afraid of ruining the friendship, so he's approaching it cautiously. If he wasn't interested in dating you, he would have spoken up when you mentioned it and said "hey, it's not a date, I just want to hang out, so chill princess" Or at least that's what I'd say:wink:.. So your best bet is to just let sleeping dogs lie, if you value the friendship. Pretend it didn't happen. If he tries again, make it quite clear to him (in a nice way of course) that you're only interested in him as a friend.

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.

I get along really well with women- I'm THAT guy. I'm the kind of guy who is just more comfortable around women than guyss for some reason. (I'm not looking for a psychoanalysis, so spare me please). Anyhow, I haven't had a lot of Good long term female friends, but there is one. I've known her, or I should say KNEW her, for about 8 or 9 years. we kind of grew up together, though we met as teenagers. Now this girl is the kind of girl who turns heads. size zero, blond hair, blue eyes..you get the picture(I'm sure now the women already hate her). Anyhow, she was younger than me, so dating was just never dicussed. But over the course of years we grew quite close. She became like a sister to me, but not quite. I never had the intention of seeing her in any way other than platonically. I knew her boyfriends, she knew my girlfriends(who were consequently insanely jealous, so I stopped introducing them after a while- didn't matter HOW much I told them she was a friend, they just didn't like her because she was good looking). But I digress. Anyhow, over the course of years I gradually developed feelings for her. She was younger, but she was very intelligent-moreso than any of my friends at the time, and also very intuitive-beyond her years. I'd go to her first for advice- And usually most people come to ME for advice. (I guess that shows that EVERYONE has a mentor.. hehee). Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course received the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her. Before I told her, none of this was ever an issue. It all came to a head about a year ago- Just before I moved to a different state. She'd been smoking more and more weed, barely still in school, and she'd had an episode where she'd been in the hospital. A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression and she's SUPPOSED to be taking epinephrin. I don't know if she'd stopped. Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happened between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.

Any advice? comments? I sent her an xmas card this year, but I didn't leave a return address. I was contemplating calling her, but I feel like it would be a waste of time.

forget that *****. ditch her.; but from a perspective of a christian, I shouldn't say that bad word.

You did too much, i think. If i were you, now I would just try to forget her. -- Yes I know is very hard to forget her:( I'm trying to forget 2 girls,... 1 i think i forget her now which is the first girl i talk about in this thread;... the 2nd girl I'm trying to forget is actually the 3rd girl in this thread... just met her at a conference and brought her to watch LOTR III, great time, but ... the note she left me is bringing me inconfidence and something hard to describe in my heart...

as for the other girl, the polish girl, who is the 2nd girl, ... she's nice and pretty, lol, sent me an xmas card:

"Thanks for the candy, sorry for this cheesy card, print out of desktop publishing class. - Love Renee"

Don't know why she put "love"... probably a friendship love.

Bottom line: just forget her, or more pain will come. took me like 2 months to forget the 1st girl.
 
  • #466
thanks for the advice, but after a year, it's still on my mind. I may never have a resolution to this, but I'd love to at least understand it.
 
  • #467
her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.
Just a guess, but given what you said about her, I suggest that she might have had some sort of problem, felt like crap, and was pushing you away to see if you really cared and would really leap in and help. Apparently you didn't.
 
  • #468
Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?
 
  • #469
Originally posted by Adam
Just a guess, but given what you said about her, I suggest that she might have had some sort of problem, felt like crap, and was pushing you away to see if you really cared and would really leap in and help. Apparently you didn't.

She's had depression as long as I've known her, and we've NEVER talked about it. When he went into the hospital(ok it's a mental health clinic) I found out about it from her dad. I brought it up and asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no. Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.
 
  • #470
Originally posted by Hurkyl
Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?

Ya that's pretty much it. Other than standing her up, I've never really wronged her. She's just moody.. women!
 
  • #471
Originally posted by Zantra
She's had depression as long as I've known her, and we've NEVER talked about it. When he went into the hospital(ok it's a mental health clinic) I found out about it from her dad. I brought it up and asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no. Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.

Probably got raped or some ****.
 
  • #472
Originally posted by Zantra
Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.

So push anyway. Given your current relationship, or lack of such, what have you got to lose?
 
  • #473
You make an excellent point
 
  • #474
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Probably got raped or some ****.

no. The reason she went away, is because she had an "episode". I heard all the details on it. She does have problems. Though I don't know for a fact(because we've never talked about it) I'm guessing htat she's probably Bipolar
 
  • #475
Originally posted by Zantra
no. The reason she went away, is because she had an "episode". I heard all the details on it. She does have problems. Though I don't know for a fact(because we've never talked about it) I'm guessing htat she's probably Bipolar
Well, I hadn't even got to the end of your story when I started thinking "Geez. This chick sounds bipolar!" I think Hurkyl has the right option choices pretty well covered. Is there a family member of hers you could call to see how she's doing? Why don't you PM Zooby and get him over here for his take on the situation.
 
  • #476
Well, the hairs on the back of my neck are suggesting this could be a serious situation. I would feel 100% better if you had the advice of a trained professional instead of unqualified advice-givers such as ourselves. :smile:

Anyways, I place best odds on trying to talk to her again (without being very pushy), then to her father.

And be supportive, but wary if she does a 360; I'm concerned about your emotional well-being too.
 
  • #477
Originally posted by Tsunami
Well, I hadn't even got to the end of your story when I started thinking "Geez. This chick sounds bipolar!" I think Hurkyl has the right option choices pretty well covered. Is there a family member of hers you could call to see how she's doing? Why don't you PM Zooby and get him over here for his take on the situation.

Is the Zoobster a shrink? and since you're in medicine, you know epinephrin is an MAO for boosting seretonin. I'm pretty confident that's what the problem is. When she was 11 she took a bunch of pills in a failed suicide attempt. The more I talk it out, I'm realizing that I was probably never the problem. But it's frustrating all the same. If she is Bipolar, there isn't much I can do for her.
 
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  • #478
Originally posted by Zantra

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.
No one can pretend to know another person's mind, but I'm going to give this a shot. Just my take on it and it may be just a bunch of cr*p.

Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course received the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.[/B]
Even though she was not interested in you as a "boyfriend", in her mind, you were "hers", a "constant", someone she could rely on and was always "there for her". When you "forgot", she suddenly realized this wasn't always going to be true and it altered her perception of her importance to you, and this was hard for her to deal with.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her.[/B]
Same reason as above.

A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression[/B]
Making even more sense now.

Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh[/B]
She's feeling like she's lost you and she can't deal with it. You meant a lot to her. I think she looked up to you more than you realize and she needed the feeling of worth and love that she got from you, but she can't tell you that without lowering the protective "walls" that she's built up around herself.

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happened between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.[/B]
She has problems Zantra, she may never be able to deal with her feelings. I think, inside her mind, she was playing out scenarios of what your responsibilities to her were, especially since you had once proclaimed your love to her, and you weren't meeting them (no one could). I'm sorry, but I can't give you hope that there could ever be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship here. I'm not sure that's even what you are wanting at this point.

Geeze, I sound like a freeking know it all.
 
  • #479
Originally posted by Zantra
Is the Zoobster a shrink? and since you're in medecine, you know epinephrin is an MAO for boosting seretonin. I'm pretty confident that's what the problem is. When she was 11 she took a bunch of pills in a failed suicide attempt. The more I talk it out, I'm realizing that I was probably never the problem. But it's frustrating all the same. If she is Bipolar, there isn't much I can do for her.
I don't know if he's a shrink or not, but he always seemed extremely knowledgeable about this kind of stuff. Suicide attempt at age 11??!
Jeepers, Zantra! One of the few things (and the most common) that I know of that would precipitate something like this is sexual abuse. I pray I'm wrong, but it might explain a few things. You said she had bf's? How close did she get with them? Do you know?

Crud. I have to head out for work. I'll catch you later.
 
  • #480
Hurkyl & Tsunami, good advice.
 
  • #481
A good friend is worth about a billion times more than a psychologist. But friends can only prescribe a few types of drugs.
 
  • #482
As far as I know, she never had any sexual abuse. Or at least if she did, she didn't show any of the symptoms. She didn't have any intimacy problems, and she wasn't overly promiscuous. All in all she seemed to have a normal sex life. It's sad that I know that for a fact. LOL.

She got along with her dad pretty well. If anything her mom and her didn't get along, but that's pretty normal.
 
  • #483
Originally posted by Zantra
As far as I know, she never had any sexual abuse. Or at least if she did, she didn't show any of the symptoms. She didn't have any intimacy problems, and she wasn't overly promiscuous. All in all she seemed to have a normal sex life. It's sad that I know that for a fact. LOL.

She got along with her dad pretty well. If anything her mom and her didn't get along, but that's pretty normal.

Damn, normal sex life? And you still wanted to be her bf after you know that? I hope you don't get AIDs man.
 
  • #484
Originally posted by Hurkyl
Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?

That's exactly how it feels. Rock and a hard place. I'm on good terms with her dad, but my fear is that if I go to him and explain the situation, he'll just turn around and chide her to make up with me, which won't help the situation.
 
  • #485
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Damn, normal sex life? And you still wanted to be her bf after you know that? I hope you don't get AIDs man.

Sex is the last thing on my mind with her. All I'm going to say is that she knows as much about me as I know about her. We'll leave it at that

Right now my main concern is salvaging the friendship, and her well being.I'm otherwise attached, so no, sex is not the motivation. When I use the term love, it's not meant in that way.
 
  • #486
Originally posted by Adam
A good friend is worth about a billion times more than a psychologist. But friends can only prescribe a few types of drugs.

Good friends are worth fighting for. I think I'm going to call her tomorrow. If I get her dad on the phone, I'll talk to him first. Updates to come- though it looks grim at this point.

EDIT: little more info. There was this time when we were both in between relationships. She came over and spent the night (on the couch people, on the couch). We both got sloshed(seeing a trend here? ) Anways, we were talking, and had a conversation. I made a rare joke about us having sex. And she said that if we did, she'd never be able to speak to me again. Then later on, I said something to effect of I'd like to, but that I didn't want to be another number in the line. I said I didn't want to be like all the other guys. She responded "well then don't be". Now that's so damn ambiguous, I'm STILL trying to figure out how she meant it. DAMN THAT WOMAN! I supposed in retrospect that may have been my cue to initiate something. Or she may have never spoken to me again if I'd made a move. damn damn damn!

To put it all in perspective, for those of you who read about CHROOT'S saga with that one woman, she kind of reminds me of how MY friend probably was with her boyfriends. She's that type of girl.

EDIT: I suppose it can't hurt to tell you her name, as she's not exactly into surfing physics boards. Her name's carlie, so now you can put a name with it.
 
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  • #487
Originally posted by Zantra
Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

My guess is that even though she gave you the 'just friends' reaction, she actually did feel closer to you after you told her you loved her; so accidentally standing her up like that hurt her more than it would have beforehand. Worse yet, maybe she thought you did it on purpose to get back at her for not accepting your advances. I agree with Evo's suggestion that she became distant after that so that she wouldn't be vulnerable to being hurt again through her closeness to you.
 
  • #488
I pretty much agree with Hypnagogue. You basically lost her when you withdrew and gave up on your interest because of her verbalized objections. The transition from friends to more can be easy or difficult for some women. This one needed to get used to the idea and have time to test the strength of your interest. You're a nice guy. Nice guys don't cross boundaries. On the other hand, nice guys can bring things up again later, if they do it nicely. That's the kind of thing that might have worked.

Instead you gave up and saw other women. In the meantime, your announcement seems to have been working on her, getting her imagining and thinking, and becoming open minded about a transition to romance. By the time that happened, you weren't there anymore. She became bitter.

The psychiatric aspects are less important than you would think. It's all normal male/female dynamics. In affective disorders the emotions, whatever they happen to be, are not so much inappropriate, as inapropriately amplified.

Think of it this way: her emotions are so loud she can't calm down to the degree where she could sort them out. This is why she can't get herself to a place where she could work this out with you: try describing a song to someone in detail at the very same time you're listening to that song turned up loud on headphones.

You're only interested in salvaging the friendship so the thing to do is reiterate your interest now and then and hope it gets to her at a calmer time down the road when she is able to sort her feelings out and talk about them.

Sorry I don't have any shortcuts to that, to suggest.

-zoob

P.S. I am not a shrink. Just opinionated.
 
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  • #489
Originally posted by Hurkyl
I would feel 100% better if you had the advice of a trained professional instead of unqualified advice-givers such as ourselves. :smile:

Me three. :wink:
 
  • #490
A trained professional can't tell you what is right and wrong. If the girl means something to you, then deal with it.
 
<h2>1. What are conflicted feelings?</h2><p>Conflicted feelings refer to experiencing two or more conflicting emotions at the same time. This can often lead to confusion, uncertainty, and difficulty in making decisions.</p><h2>2. Why do high school students experience conflicted feelings when moving on?</h2><p>High school students are at a transitional stage in their lives, where they are leaving behind the familiar and entering into the unknown. This can trigger a range of emotions such as excitement, fear, sadness, and anxiety, leading to conflicted feelings.</p><h2>3. How can one cope with conflicted feelings when moving on from high school?</h2><p>It is important to acknowledge and accept your conflicted feelings. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, about your emotions. Engage in self-care activities, such as exercise, journaling, or meditation, to help manage your emotions. Seek support from a therapist if needed.</p><h2>4. Is it normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school?</h2><p>Yes, it is completely normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school. It is a significant milestone in one's life, and it is natural to experience a range of emotions during this transition.</p><h2>5. How long do conflicted feelings about moving on from high school last?</h2><p>The duration of conflicted feelings can vary for each individual. It depends on the person's coping mechanisms, support system, and the significance of the transition. It is essential to give yourself time and be patient with your emotions.</p>

1. What are conflicted feelings?

Conflicted feelings refer to experiencing two or more conflicting emotions at the same time. This can often lead to confusion, uncertainty, and difficulty in making decisions.

2. Why do high school students experience conflicted feelings when moving on?

High school students are at a transitional stage in their lives, where they are leaving behind the familiar and entering into the unknown. This can trigger a range of emotions such as excitement, fear, sadness, and anxiety, leading to conflicted feelings.

3. How can one cope with conflicted feelings when moving on from high school?

It is important to acknowledge and accept your conflicted feelings. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, about your emotions. Engage in self-care activities, such as exercise, journaling, or meditation, to help manage your emotions. Seek support from a therapist if needed.

4. Is it normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school?

Yes, it is completely normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school. It is a significant milestone in one's life, and it is natural to experience a range of emotions during this transition.

5. How long do conflicted feelings about moving on from high school last?

The duration of conflicted feelings can vary for each individual. It depends on the person's coping mechanisms, support system, and the significance of the transition. It is essential to give yourself time and be patient with your emotions.

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