- Thread starter
- #1

- Mar 22, 2013

- 573

Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy?"

Because he left a residue at every pole.

Because he left a residue at every pole.

- Thread starter mathbalarka
- Start date

- Thread starter
- #1

- Mar 22, 2013

- 573

Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy?"

Because he left a residue at every pole.

Because he left a residue at every pole.

- Admin
- #2

- Sep 16, 2013

- 337

Best maths joke I've ever heard... Nice one, Balarka!

- Jan 30, 2012

- 2,503

- Sep 16, 2013

- 337

Brilliant! Nice one, Evgeny!

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

A mathematician and her husband are arguing. "You don't love me anymore! All you care about is math!", he says.

She says, "Honey, that's not true! I DO love you!"

He says, "Oh yeah? Well, then, prove it!".

She says, "OK. Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

- Jan 30, 2012

- 2,503

- Mar 31, 2013

- 1,322

it is a very good bad joke(oxymoron intended)

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

"Dear algebra,

Stop asking us to find your x. She's not coming back."

A friend of mine once got me a T-shirt that said:

"What part of

$$\iiint_V (\nabla \cdot \mathbf{F})\ dV = \oint_S (\mathbf{F}\cdot \mathbf{n})\ dS$$

don't you understand?"

- Jan 30, 2012

- 2,503

The relationship between $V$ and $S$."What part of

$$\iiint_V (\nabla \cdot \mathbf{F})\ dV = \oint_S (\mathbf{F}\cdot \mathbf{n})\ dS$$

don't you understand?"

I guess if a member of the opposite sex made this remark, the only appropriate reply is, "Marry me!"

- Thread starter
- #11

- Mar 22, 2013

- 573

A mathematican walks into a bar accompanied by a dog and a cow.

The bartender says, “Hey, no animals are allowed in here!”

The mathematician replies, “These are very special animals.”

“How so?”

“They’re knot theorists.”

The bartender raises his eyebrows and says, “I’ve met a number of knot theorists who I thought were animals, but never an animal that was a knot theorist.”

“Well, I’ll prove it to you. Ask them them anything you like.”

So the bartender asks the dog, “Name a knot invariant.”

“Arf! Arf!” barks the dog.

The bartender scowls and turns to the cow asking, “Name a topological invariant.”

“Mu! Mu!” says the cow.

At this point the bartender turns to the mathematican and says, “Very funny.” With that, he throws the three out of the bar.

Outside, sitting on the curb, the dog turns to the mathematican and asks, “Do you think I should have said the Jones polynomial instead?”

- Thread starter
- #12

- Mar 22, 2013

- 573

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

Yeah, well...in actuality $S = \partial{V}$, the oriented boundary of $V$...although you might as well have asked:The relationship between $V$ and $S$.

I guess if a member of the opposite sex made this remark, the only appropriate reply is, "Marry me!"

"What is $\mathbf{n}$?" as it is likewise not explicitly defined by the expression shown.

When I was actually studying math (at a school), there was, at that time, only one girl math major. I should have married her, but I was young and foolish, and did not realize what a singular (hah! a pun!) opportunity was set before me.

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

There exist many variations on the following:

An engineer, a physicist, and a topologist are all locked in an empty room for 3 days with a single can of food, and no can opener, as an experiment.

After 3 days, the engineer's room is opened: the experimenters find a room splattered with food all over the walls, which are pock-marked with dents. He obviously threw the can against the walls until it burst.

In the physicist's room, they find the can bent in half, he explains he determined the optimal point to apply pressure to break the seal, which only took half a day.

In the topologist's room, they just find an unopened can, and he is nowhere in sight. Curious, they open the can, and the topologist pops out, saying (somewhat sheepishly): "Sign error".