Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

In summary, moving on from high school can be a time of conflicting emotions for many individuals. While it marks the end of a significant chapter in one's life, it also brings about the excitement and uncertainty of new beginnings. The nostalgia for the past and the fear of the future can create a sense of conflict within oneself. However, it is important to embrace these conflicting feelings and use them as motivation to grow and move forward. Whether it is pursuing higher education, starting a career, or exploring new opportunities, the process of moving on from high school is a natural and necessary part of life.
  • #1
PrudensOptimus
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In Real life, I really like this girl ever since I met her for the first time in the Freshman year in high school. We had same physics class, but due to my academic pursue, I left her out and didn't spend more time to talk to her.

Now after a year and some months, we still go to same school and see each other not very often as last year, I felt like she started to ... I don't know, some weird feeling like she's trying to ignoring me and make me jealous by talking to a bunch of guys at the same time or something:\

Advice? Comments? Additions? Feel free.
 
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  • #2
Just be thankful you don't have Chroot's problem, and deal with it..lol

Have you tried talking to her?
 
  • #3
I never really talked to her very often because I didn't want to "bother" her. But I msged her over AIM and I asked her why did she have to act like she's ignoring me, she said she didn't mean to. (She acts perfectly normal sometimes, saying hi to me in the hall way... but sometimes she just act like she never knew me...)

The first thing she said to me when she saw me at the potluck was "Is Swing here? Is he here? Where is he?" (Swing=guy). From what I know she doesn't go out with him, and he had some weird contagious flu. She kept on talking with him in front of me and my friends, making us look bad or something. Later went to his house and left potluck , I chose not to go because I wanted to worship the Lord(christian potluck).
 
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  • #4
Have some confidence and just approach her and talk. Be careful not to fall in the friends circle though. How hot is she and does she get a lot of attention from other guys?
 
  • #5
Originally posted by Rook
Have some confidence and just approach her and talk. Be careful not to fall in the friends circle though. How hot is she and does she get a lot of attention from other guys?

She is very hot:p That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.

However, she is not the "slut" type. But, it's hard to say from what I saw at the potluck, she acted like she was "owned" by Swing. Swing is a very shy guy, don't talk much, but he went to middleschool with her.
 
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  • #6
Last year I had a PE class with one of her friends, till today I remember that friend of hers told me one day in that class that she was "heartbroken" when I blocked her on AIM. That friend also told me that she likes me. But at that time I took it as a joke and forgot all about it because academics was way more important to me.
 
  • #7
She is very hot:p
First, if you haven't already, knock her off her pedestal. Then you need to be different from the other guys trying to pick her up. She is most likely often told how "hot" and "beautiful" she is. Avoid doing this, tease her a little. Make it so your the prize, not her.
That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.
Why? Are you afraid of being rejected? Rejection is part of the game. So what if she doesn't want you, her loss, right. Their a plenty of other women out there.
Just go up and talk to her about anything. Tease her a little, then leave. If she's interested, she will pursue.
However, she is not the "slut" type. But, it's hard to say from what I saw at the potluck, she acted like she was "owned" by Swing. Swing is a very shy guy, don't talk much, but he went to middleschool with her.
Swing is probably stuck in the "friends circle", or maybe they are together. But, next time, go up to Swing and work it into the conversation about how he knows the girl. Chances are, you'll find out what's going on.

Regardless, go up and talk to her anyways, take a chance. And if you see it going nowhere, use her to get with her hot friends (my guess is she knows a few).
 
  • #8
So what do you mean by friends circle? And why must I avoid the circle? Please explain, thanks.
 
  • #9
No, don't do any of that, she sounds like a sincere person, she is just trying to get your attention - you are ignoring her.

She is very hot:p That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.

Don't avoid her, just talk to her, but don't tell her she is hot, tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has. Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot. Make yourself an easy person to talkk to.
 
  • #10
Originally posted by rick1138
No, don't do any of that, she sounds like a sincere person, she is just trying to get your attention - you are ignoring her.



Don't avoid her, just talk to her, but don't tell her she is hot, tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has. Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot. Make yourself an easy person to talkk to.

I have already begun to "recover" what I "owe" to her... Whenever she ask me to do a favor, I would do so.(ie she asked me to design a site for her club in the school.)

And, ahh ****, I already msged her after the potluck a little, here is a brief what I said:

"Girl: Hey how's econ?"
"Me: Sorry, but have I offend you in anyway?"
"Girl: No. WHy?"
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: OK, I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything offensive."
...

followed by a long ass conversation...
 
  • #11
So what do you mean by friends circle? And why must I avoid the circle? Please explain, thanks.
The "Friends Circle" is most easly discribed as when she considers you more of a "galpal" or "emotional tampon" rather then the man you are. i.e.: she tells you about all her problems and seeks your advice on how to handle men, etc. When she sees you as 'just a friend' rather than potential dating material.
tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has.
...
Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot.
I must disagree, I would recommend that you call her out on the behavior that bothers you. So you put her on the spot? YES! You have to show that you will not tolerate disrespect (that sounds a little strong, but instead of bringing it out harshly, TEASE HER about it)
Make yourself an easy person to talk to.
Exactly, be a good listener, but don't be afraid to disagree with what she has to say. They last thing women want is a guy who accepts everything she says as gold, like a sad little dog.
 
  • #12
I think Swing is her so called "Friend Circle"... Meets the requirements 100%. And her other friend who told me stuff in PE class. I have many "spies" in her classes and riding her bus:p

My Junior friend Daniel rides her bus, and he hath told me he don't think Swing and her go together (ie they don't show much expression on the bus, don't talk, don't kiss, don't sit together, don't do nothing). Now I trust Daniel alot, he has math class with me, so another conclusion might be drawn... They don't talk on bus, yet they were sitting together on a yearbook picture taken randomly in an outdoor assembly, weird...


GIRL EXPERTS! Where art thou!
 
  • #13
I have already begun to "recover" what I "owe" to her... Whenever she ask me to do a favor, I would do so.(ie she asked me to design a site for her club in the school.)
Why?! You owe her nothing. You had your own priorities and at the time, she didn't fit into the picture. If she asks you to do another favor, ask her "whats in it for me?" Or, if you have the confidence, accuse her of trying to seduce you by getting you to do things for her.
"Girl: Hey how's econ?"
"Me: Sorry, but have I offend you in anyway?"
"Girl: No. WHy?"
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: OK, I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything offensive."
Should've been something like this:
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: So, your going to make it up to me then, I take it."
 
  • #14
Spying on her? Bad move, very bad. Just ask her out, it would make things a lot easier.
 
  • #15
Don't start a confrontation with her - she hasn't done anything to you - just be nice her.
 
  • #16
:\ I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend or not. From Swing's little brother, 5 year old kid say he saw the girl in Swing's house often, and he told me she's Swing's girl friend:\ Yet other people say they aren't... omg soo confusing.

The other reason I am impressed is her father is a very well known researcher on Multiple Myeloma, and from what I found, their parents use to be college classmates with my parents:\
 
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  • #17
Originally posted by Rook
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: So, your going to make it up to me then, I take it." [/B]


LOLL nice, I'm going to try that.
 
  • #18
Don't start a confrontation with her - she hasn't done anything to you - just be nice her.
I'm not saying 'start an arguement'. There is a difference between TEASING and insulting (don't insult her). And, just so you know: nice guys finish last...
omg soo confusing.
Then just her about their relationship. Forget what others say.
The other reason I am impressed is her father is a very well known researcher on Multiple Myeloma.
Cool, then you should be able to relate/talk to him about some interesting things. Who cares if your not dating the daughter. It's all about who you know.
 
  • #19
Originally posted by Rook
I'm not saying 'start an arguement'. There is a difference between TEASING and insulting (don't insult her). And, just so you know: nice guys finish last...

Then just her about their relationship. Forget what others say.

Cool, then you should be able to relate/talk to him about some interesting things. Who cares if your not dating the daughter. It's all about who you know.


There are some other girls that I know they have "special attention" for me in the school, they also appeared to be her friends.

At one time I remember I said something good about another friend of hers in front of her without intention, after that she started to act weird.
 
  • #20
btw, why would a girl always begin a conversation with a guy by "how's economics?"?
 
  • #21
There are some other girls that I know they have "special attention" for me in the school, they also appeared to be her friends.
Run your game on them to then. It always good to practice.
At one time I remember I said something good about another friend of hers in front of her without intention, after that she started to act weird.
Nothing wrong with talking about her friends infront of her, make her know that you arn't just 'waiting' for her, that you have other options.
btw, why would a girl always begin a conversation with a guy by "how's economics?"?
Because you have not given her the chance to know you better so this is the best conversation opener she has. Next time, call her out on it:
"You must really like econ since that's all you ask about..."
or tease her:
"Tell me (girl), what ever happened to starting conversations with 'how was your day'?"
or even shorter:
"My day was great, thanks for asking..."
 
  • #22
Don't follow any of this advice at all, unless you want to lose her.
 
  • #23
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!

If you really like this girl, be more open to her. Ask her for a drink somewhere (nice cup of hot chocolate/ tea/ coffee somewhere at a quite place at school will do). Let it shine through that you like her, find out common interests. Next time you will be able to ask her out.
 
  • #24
Originally posted by Monique
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!

I read an article on the internet a while back that said proposing through text messaging was becomilng very popular in some country. It was also legal to divorce someone through text messaging.

What is the world coming too!

PrudensOptimus, If you really want to know if she has a boyfriend, go up to her and ask her if you look better than her boyfriend. If she says yes, then go in for the kill. If she says no, then walk away, quickly. (Mind you, I don't use this pickup line. Just came up in a conversation with some friends)
 
  • #25
I've been asked out through text messaging, it is the mostwrongestlyfaulty thing to do :) if she says yes, you are fine, but if it is no, how are you going to pursuade her with your big blue (brown/grey/green) eyes staring at the screen.

Communication is more than just words.
 
  • #26
Don't follow any of this advice at all, unless you want to lose her.
How will he lose her? He never 'had' her to begin with... Secondly, this advice is solid, I have field tested it all. Guess what: IT WORKS!
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier?
Its because its much easier to talk through the internet because it's so impersonal (easier to deal with rejection). However, you can never really get the results you desire because of this impersonal method.
Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!
I second that!
Horrible idea, keep the AIM conversations, just like the phone conversations: short and concise, make her laugh, then end it on a good note.
Communication is more than just words.
Exactly (I like how you think!). Again, AIM, and even the phone (to an extent) are impersonal. It's so much better to talk in person. Also, don't be afraid to touch her playfully, and always keep eye contact.
 
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  • #27
Let me try

@Monique: Aren't you from Sweden? She is from Sweden too.
 
  • #28
you are going to try what?
 
  • #29
funny, in the US people always thought I was from Finland.. I am from Holland though :)
 
  • #30
Ask her out for a drink, like monique said! Be bold, she may like that!

Uh, (no offence any women) but girls are usually attention seekers so any attention is good. Rook's idea about teasing is good but don't take the piss out of everything she does!

What else? i think and Swing are platonic friends seeing as no one has seen them be couply together. I think that she likes you from what you have said so far, and if she is hot then she is likely to have played the dating game before.

Dont get too involved or you will end up in the dreaded friend circle! When you go out for this coffee or whatever, be interesting but don't tell her tons about yourself, let her do the talking(attention, get it?). Also, leaving yourself as a mystery will make her want to know more about you (further dates!) It's definitely a trait in British girls that they want to think they know everything and i suppose, teasing her like that, drip feeding her information keeps her interested. Little and often is how you should do it!

If she IS going out with Swing, go round his house and bust his kneecaps, then bust his little brother's kneecaps for being a smartass! Then go out with one of her hot friends to show her what she is missing! (DONT DO ANY OF THIS):wink:
 
  • #31
Originally posted by Monique
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!
Normally I'd agree, but as a matter of fact, just last week I asked a girl out in an email (she said yes). We'd been emailing for several months though and I figured it would be anticlimactic if I asked for her phone number. If she's interested, it doesn't matter how you ask. If she's on the bubble though, it might be harder for her to say no if you ask in person.

Its a complicated (and possibly dangerous) situation I have here though - she's my boss's daughter and our office is in his living room. In any case, I rarely get a good opportunity to talk to her here (she works too), but it really is best to just spit it out. It doesn't matter if it seems kinda random.

But yeah - I'm a wuss. That was just another topic of conversation though when I finally did talk to her on the phone.
 
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  • #32
Its a complicated (and possibly dangerous) situation I have here though - she's my boss's daughter and our office is in his living room.

Sorry for the vulgar term but this is the only thing that came to mind: Don't $hit where you eat...
 
  • #33
Originally posted by Rook
Sorry for the vulgar term but this is the only thing that came to mind: Don't $hit where you eat...
Yeah, believe me, I'm tiptoe-ing here, but for some reason she doesn't seem bothered by it at all (though I'm not sure I believe that). But I have more to lose than she does if it turns out badly.
 
  • #34
Originally posted by jimmy p
I think that she likes you from what you have said so far, and if she is hot then she is likely to have played the dating game before.[/B]

Oh? Can you please tell me a more detailed version of why you think she still likes me based on what I have said?

And what is the dating game?

And umm, I kick Swing's ass anyways. His brother is a suckup to me ---> He doesn't like Swing.
 
  • #35
Girl Experts? [b(]
 
<h2>1. What are conflicted feelings?</h2><p>Conflicted feelings refer to experiencing two or more conflicting emotions at the same time. This can often lead to confusion, uncertainty, and difficulty in making decisions.</p><h2>2. Why do high school students experience conflicted feelings when moving on?</h2><p>High school students are at a transitional stage in their lives, where they are leaving behind the familiar and entering into the unknown. This can trigger a range of emotions such as excitement, fear, sadness, and anxiety, leading to conflicted feelings.</p><h2>3. How can one cope with conflicted feelings when moving on from high school?</h2><p>It is important to acknowledge and accept your conflicted feelings. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, about your emotions. Engage in self-care activities, such as exercise, journaling, or meditation, to help manage your emotions. Seek support from a therapist if needed.</p><h2>4. Is it normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school?</h2><p>Yes, it is completely normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school. It is a significant milestone in one's life, and it is natural to experience a range of emotions during this transition.</p><h2>5. How long do conflicted feelings about moving on from high school last?</h2><p>The duration of conflicted feelings can vary for each individual. It depends on the person's coping mechanisms, support system, and the significance of the transition. It is essential to give yourself time and be patient with your emotions.</p>

1. What are conflicted feelings?

Conflicted feelings refer to experiencing two or more conflicting emotions at the same time. This can often lead to confusion, uncertainty, and difficulty in making decisions.

2. Why do high school students experience conflicted feelings when moving on?

High school students are at a transitional stage in their lives, where they are leaving behind the familiar and entering into the unknown. This can trigger a range of emotions such as excitement, fear, sadness, and anxiety, leading to conflicted feelings.

3. How can one cope with conflicted feelings when moving on from high school?

It is important to acknowledge and accept your conflicted feelings. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, about your emotions. Engage in self-care activities, such as exercise, journaling, or meditation, to help manage your emotions. Seek support from a therapist if needed.

4. Is it normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school?

Yes, it is completely normal to have conflicted feelings about leaving high school. It is a significant milestone in one's life, and it is natural to experience a range of emotions during this transition.

5. How long do conflicted feelings about moving on from high school last?

The duration of conflicted feelings can vary for each individual. It depends on the person's coping mechanisms, support system, and the significance of the transition. It is essential to give yourself time and be patient with your emotions.

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