Product Warning Labels: Handle with Extreme Care!

[soroban]

Warning
This product attracts every other piece of matter
in the Universe, including products of other
manufacturers, with a force proporitional to the
product of the masses and inversely proportional
to the square of the distance between them.Handle with Extreme Care
This product contains minute electrically charged
particles moving at velocities in excess of five
hundred million miles per hour.Advisory
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance
that through a process known as "tunneling", this
product may spontaneously disappear from its
present location and reappear at any random
place in the Universe, including your neighbor's
domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible
for any damages or inconvenience that may result.This is a matter product.
In the unlikely event that this merchandise
should contact antimatter in any form, a
catastrophic explosion will result.Note
The most fundamental particles in this
product are held together by a "gluing"
force about which little is currently known
and whose adhesive power can therefore
not be permanently guaranteed.Attention
Despite any other listing of product contents
found hereon, the consumer is advised that,
in actuality, this product consists of about
99.999% empty space.Component Equivalency Notice
The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.)
comprising this product are exactly the same in
every measure respect as those used in the
products of other manufacturers, and no claim
to the contrary may legitimately be expressed
or implied.Important Notice to Purchasers
The entire physical universe, including this
product may one day collapse back into
an infinitesimally small space. .Should
another Universe subsequently re-emerge,
the existence of this product in that Universe
cannot be guaranteed.

 

[Ackbach]

Excellent!

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

I like this one.

CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

 

[soroban]

Good one, Evgeny!

 

[LudusRex]

I would like to advise consumers to take these product warning labels seriously. The properties of this product, specifically its ability to attract other matter and its high velocity particles, make it potentially hazardous if not handled with extreme care. The possibility of spontaneous disappearance and re-emergence in another location also poses a risk to both the product and its surroundings.

Furthermore, the unknown nature of the "gluing" force that holds the particles together and the high percentage of empty space in the product highlight the complexity and unpredictability of this product. In the event of contact with antimatter, the resulting explosion could be catastrophic.

It is important to note that while this product may have similar subatomic particles as other products, its unique properties make it fundamentally different and may require special precautions. As a responsible consumer, it is important to heed these warnings and handle this product with caution.