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- Jan 26, 2012

- 4,197

- Thread starter Ackbach
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- Thread starter
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- #1

- Jan 26, 2012

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- Feb 9, 2012

- 118

1) Why the math book kill itself? - Because had too many problems.

2) A collection of functions is dancing and the exponential one is alone. Some function stands right to it and says: Why don't you integrate? - Doesn't matter, it's the same.

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- Jan 26, 2012

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Some corny ones here, but I just love Sheldon so much I had to post this. Hope the embedding works on this one...

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- Jan 26, 2012

- 268

I don't get it.

Why was the identity .$\sin2r \:=\:2\sin r$ .refused a loan?

. . He needed a $\cos r.$

- Jan 31, 2012

- 253

cosignerI don't get it.

---------- Post added at 04:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:59 PM ----------

It's not letting me make back-to-back posts.

Methods of Mathematical Proof

Proof by vigorous handwaving:

Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.

Proof by deferral:

"We'll prove this later in the course."

Proof by adverb:

"As is quite clear, the elementary aforementioned statement is

Proof by omission:

"The other 253 cases are analogous."

Proof by seduction:

"Convince yourself that this is true."

Proof by reduction to the wrong problem:

"To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem."

Proof by reference to inaccessible literature:

The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian Philological Society, 1883.

Proof by vehement assertion:

It is useful to have some kind of authority relation to the audience.

Proof by cumbersome notation:

Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.

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What is the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic?

A psychotic thinks 2 +2 = 5.

A neurotic knows that 2 + 2 = 4,

but

What is the difference between data and information?

Data

382436

Information

38-24-36

My two secrets for success:

1. Never tell anyone everything you know.

- Jan 31, 2012

- 253

Proof by imagination:

"Well, we'll pretend its true."

Proof by lack of interest:

"Does anyone really want to see this?"

Proof by lack of sufficient time

Proof by lost reference

Proof by definition:

"We'll define it to be true."

Proof by clever variable choice:

"Let A be the number such that this proof works."

Proof by illegibility

Proof by intimidation:

"Don't be stupid! Of course it's true!"

Proof by accident

Proof by Profanity:

(example omitted)

- Jan 26, 2012

- 890

How about "We provided you with the tools to answer that yourself 200 years ago!"

CB

What?How about "We provided you with the tools to answer that yourself 200 years ago!"

CB

- Jan 26, 2012

- 890

Almost all the mathematical tools required for engineering have been around for most of the last 200 years.What?

CB

- Jan 29, 2012

- 1,151

- Jan 26, 2012

- 890

But...but...but the engine control processor does not have a dispaly attached

CB

- Jan 30, 2012

- 74

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determine the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

- Jan 30, 2012

- 61

The engineer awakes, sees the fire, makes some careful observations, and on the back of the hotel's room service list (pizza menu) does some quick calculations. Grabbing the fire extinguisher (and adding a factor of safety of 5), he puts out the fire by hosing down the entire room several times over, and then crawls into his soggy bed and goes back to sleep.

The mathematician awakes, sees the fire, makes some careful observations, and on a blackboard installed in the room, does some quick calculations. Jubliant, he exclaims "A solution exists!", and crawls into his dry bed and goes back to sleep.

The mathematician awakes, sees the cooling embers of the fire from one of his neighbors, fans it back into a roaring inferno, observes that "this reduces to a previously solved problem", crawls into his warm bed, and goes back to sleep

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

a topologist, an engineer, and a physicist are all locked in a room with a can of food, and no can opener, and left there for a week. after the week is up, the doors are unlocked. in the engineer's room, the walls are pock-marked with the dents he put in it to bash open the can by throwing it against the wall. in the physicist's room, they find she has crafted a crude can-opener from pieces of her cot. in the topologist's room, they just find the can. the physicist grabs her can-opener, and opens the can....the topologist crawls out of the can, and sheepishly says: "oops, sign error."

alternate ending (mathematician instead of topologist):

they open the mathematician's room, to find him dead on the floor. scrawled in blood on the floor is:

theorem: if i don't open the can, i will die of starvation

proof: assume the opposite, and derive a contradiction.

- Jan 31, 2012

- 54

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- Jan 26, 2012

- 995

- Jan 26, 2012

- 268

What does the mathematical expression in your signature represent?

- Jan 31, 2012

- 54

$F(U)C(k)$

*Fermat's* $U$ number, $\Cos(k)$ in power series.

- Feb 15, 2012

- 1,967

x = nln(u),

then certainly we can all agree that:

$\int e^x = f(u^n)$