# Jokes

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
Once you've read a dictionary, every other book is just a remix.

Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

"This does not count!", cried children looking at the set of real numbers.

The equation was stolen by two unknowns.

This dialog happened during a job interview.
Q: If you were told to develop a perpetual motion machine, where would you start?
A: I'd study successful related projects.

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
"Google search engine receives too many requests from your IP address. This is a typical behavior of a robot. To prove that you are not a robot, injure a human being or allow a human being to come to harm through inaction."

Quantum children do their homework only while being watched.

Romans considered mathematics an easy subject. They always had X equal to 10.

MHB Math Scholar

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
One student claimed that $$\displaystyle \ln0=e$$. To prove it, he typed $$\displaystyle \ln$$ and $$\displaystyle 0$$ on a calculator and got the answer $$\displaystyle e$$.

Another student had to prove that $\sqrt{2}+\sqrt{3}$ is irrational. His reasoning was as follows. $\sqrt{2}=1.41$ and $\sqrt{3}=1.73$. Hence, $\sqrt{2}+\sqrt{3}=3.14=\pi$, and it is known that $\pi$ is irrational.

Q: What are regular expressions?
A: These are expressions regularly uttered by programmers during coding.

#### Farmtalk

##### Active member
Opinions without pi are just onions.

#### Attachments

• 59.4 KB Views: 52

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
You might be a mathematician if you think that fog is a composition.

Old Macdonald had a form; $e_i\land e_i = 0$.

To some degree, 2 is also an 8. (Not sure if this is translatable into English.)

John + Sarah = love.
Error: left operand must be an l-value.

#### Joppy

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Helper
Not sure if this is in here already .

A drunk man will find his way home, but a drunk bird may get lost forever - Shizuo Kakutani

#### Monoxdifly

##### Well-known member
Never just use the number 2 as example because:
2 + 2 = 4
2 x 2 = 4
22 = 4
By that logic, children who haven't grasped the concept of multiplication and exponent will think that:
3 + 3 = 6
3 x 3 = 6
33 = 6

#### Joppy

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Helper
Never just use the number 2 as example because:
2 + 2 = 4
2 x 2 = 4
22 = 4
By that logic, children who haven't grasped the concept of multiplication and exponent will think that:
3 + 3 = 6
3 x 3 = 6
33 = 6
I'm not sure if I should laugh or be worried! xD

MHB Math Scholar

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
1. Beethoven, being deaf, could write wonderful symphonies. Why can't I, being dumb, write good research papers?

2. One couple used to stop at a certain gas station and occasionally used their air machine to fill their car's tires. Once they discovered that pumping air was no longer free.

Wife: "Why in the world did they start charging for air?"
Husband: "Inflation".

3. I gave the following problem as a part of the exam on the theory of programming languages. The variants were taken from a forum where math teachers discuss mistakes their students make on the Russian equivalent of SAT.

Factor out the sine in the expression $$3\sin x -4\sin^3x$$.
1. $\sin x (3-4^3)$
2. $\sin x (3-4n^2)$
3. $(\lambda x.\, 3x - 4x^3) (\sin x)$
4. $\sin (3 x - 4^3 x)$

#### Monoxdifly

##### Well-known member
[*] $(\lambda x.\, 3x - 4x^3) (\sin x)$
This. How did they get that lambda there?

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
This refers to the so-called lambda calculus. It's a formal system whose goal is to distinguish function as a mapping and the value of a function at some point. In calculus one often sees phrases like "The function $f(x)$ is differentiable at $x_0$", where $f(x)$ means not the value of $f$ at point $x$, but the function as a whole. In lambda calculus, $x^2$ means the square of some number $x$, but $\lambda x.\,x^2$ is a function that maps any $x$ to $x^2$. In addition to notation for functions, lambda calculus has a rule of simplification: $(\lambda x.\,t)s$ can be rewritten to the result of the substitution of $s$ for $x$ in $t$. This makes sense: in programming terminology, the actual parameter $s$ is substituted for a formal parameter $x$ in the body $t$ of the function. In particular, $(\lambda x.\, 3x - 4x^3) (\sin x)$ reduces to $3\sin x-4\sin^3x$.

#### Klaas van Aarsen

##### MHB Seeker
Staff member
"The function $f(x)$ is differentiable at $x_0$", where $f(x)$ means not the value of $f$ at point $x$, but the function as a whole.
Interesting. I didn't realize the role of lambda calculus in this context before.
I do realize that formally it should be "The function $f$ is differentiable at $x_0$".
Or alternatively, "The function given by $x \mapsto f(x)$ is differentiable at $x_0$".
I'm only realizing just now that the second form matches the lambda form ($\lambda x. f(x)$), while in the first form $f$ is an unspecified lambda form.

MHB Math Scholar

#### Wilmer

##### In Memoriam
Mary is realllllly skinny...

How skinny is she?

She swallowed an olive and 2 guys left town!

#### Ackbach

##### Indicium Physicus
Staff member
Person A: Knock, knock. Race condition. Who's there?

#### Evgeny.Makarov

##### Well-known member
MHB Math Scholar
Person A: Knock, knock. Race condition. Who's there?
A similar joke.

TV anchor: We present our reporter John Smith at the site of the Large Hadron Collider, where an accident occurred this morning.
Reporter: I am hearing you well.
Anchor: John, can you here us?

"Tomb" is pronounced "toom", and "womb" is pronounced "woom". Why isn't "bomb" pronounced "boom"?

I like silly jokes like the following.

"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Good guess."

#### Wilmer

##### In Memoriam
Mary is realllllly skinny...

How skinny is she?

She swallowed an olive and 2 guys left town!
Looks like nobody "got" that one...
She was so skinny that the swallowed olive made her appear pregnant!

Staff member

#### Wilmer

##### In Memoriam
What well known expression does this represent:

...9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,

#### Klaas van Aarsen

##### MHB Seeker
Staff member
What well known expression does this represent:

...9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,
Either the launch to the moon, or a government official counting his cards (we're just missing king, queen, jack, and 10).

#### Wilmer

##### In Memoriam
Good try, but no ceegar!

Clue (word lengths): --- --'-- ---- ------- --- !

#### Wilmer

##### In Memoriam
Anutter clue: y-- a-'-- s--- n------ y--