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George Carlin - 5

soroban

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2012
409

. . . . . . . . Advertising Lullaby

Quality, value, style,
service, selection, convenience,
economy, savings, performance,
experience, hospitality,
low rates, friendly service,
name brands, easy terms,
affordable prices, money-back guarentee,
free installation.

Free admission, free approval, free alterations,
free delivery, free estimates,
free home trial ... and free parking.

No cash? .No problem. .No kidding!
No fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligation,
no red tape, no down payment,
no entry fee, no hidden charges,
no purchase necessary,
no one will call on you,
no payments or interest until September.

Limited time only,
so act now,
order today,
send no money,
offer good while supplies last,
two to a customer,
each item sold separately,
batteries not included,
mileage may vary,
all sales are final,
allow six weeks for delivery,
some items not available,
some assembly required,
some restrictions may apply.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
with our friendly, professional staff. .Our experienced and know-
ledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection
that's just right for you and just right for your budget.

And don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic, deluxe, custom,
designer, luxury, prestige, high-quality, premium, select, gourmet
pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary.
It's our way of saying thank you.

And if you act now, we'll include an extra, added, free,
complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic,
deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high-quality,
premium, select, gourmet combination key ring, magnifying
glass, and garden hose. In a genuine, imitation leather-style
carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. .Yours for the asking,
no purchase necessary. It's our way to saying thank you.

Actually, it's our way of saying "Bend over a little further ..."
 

Jameson

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 26, 2012
4,043
I love your threads in our chat room, soroban. Thank you! Just so you know, you're famous now. I posted about you on Twitter earlier today on our MHB account. (https://twitter.com/mathhelpboards). You might want to hire a security guard now to deal with all of the fans (Rofl).