George Carlin - 2
You can lead a gift horse to water in the middle of the stream,
but you can't look him in the mouth and make him drink.
Environmentalists change the word jungle to rain forest,
because no one would give them money to save a jungle.
Same for swamps and wetlands.
Suggested bumper sticker:
We Are the Pround Parents of a Child
Whose Self-Esteem is Sufficient That
He Doesn't Need Us Advertising
His Scholastic Achievements
on the Bumper of Our Car.
Every time you use the phrase all my life
it has a different meaning.
The Supreme Court has reversed
a lower court decision allowing
an injunction that restrained
a defendenant from contesting
a court order forcing him
to show cause why he should not
be enjoined from suing his lawyers.
Life is a near-death experience.