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Well-known member
Feb 2, 2012


Not playing with a full deck.

Brain like a BB in a boxcar.

Knitting with one needle.

Long on dry wall, short on studs.

A quart low.

No grain in the silo.

Mouth's in gear, brain's in neutral.

Half a bubble off plumb.

Not wrapped too tight.

All foam, no beer.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

All wax, no wick.

Dipstick doesn't reach the oil.

Blender doesn't go past "mix".

One tree short of a hammock.

Doesn't have both oars in the water.

Outlet isn't grounded.

Chimney's clogged.

Couldn't find sand if he fell off a camel.

Doesn't have all the dots on his dice.

Belt doesn't go through all the loops.

Right pew, wrong church.

Skating on the wrong side of the ice.

Slinky's kinked.

Elevator doesn't go to the top.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Nice house, no furniture.

Wipers don't touch the windshield.

Goalie for the dart team.

Too many birds on the antenna.

Head whistles in a crosswind.

Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

Couldn't empty water out of a boot
with the instructions on the heel.​
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