Why God never received tenure

  • Thread starter iansmith
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In summary, some academic careers just never take off. Reasons given include that the person has only one publication, it's in a language other than English, it's not published in a refereed journal, and the person's cooperative efforts have been limited. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating the person's results, and when one experiment went awry, the person tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book. He expelled his first two students for learning. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaint
  • #1
iansmith
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Some academic careers just never take off...

Why God never received tenure at any university:

1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop
 
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  • #2
bwah hah hah!

Delightful

I can only hope that in making a pointless response to your joke, more people will end up reading it
 
  • #3
Becareful not to walk out in a lightning storm... :smile:
 
  • #4
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
 
  • #5
CRACKED ME UP!

I'm going to show this to the pastor of my church! He's going to love it!
 
  • #6
Pssst whom do you think invented humor?
(A hint, not the devil!)
 
  • #7
Originally posted by HBar
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
Umm..I think you're going to have to go just a little bit further than THIS to reserve your own little spot in hell. Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you! :wink:
 
  • #8
"Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you!"

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor."
depeche mode

yup.
 
  • #9
"...Because Tenure is finite, and God is Infinite"
 

1. Why do some people believe that God never received tenure?

There are a variety of reasons why some people believe that God never received tenure. Some argue that the concept of God is purely a human creation and therefore does not exist in the traditional sense of a being with a job or title. Others believe that God is not bound by human constructs such as time and tenure, and therefore the question is irrelevant.

2. What evidence is there to support the claim that God never received tenure?

There is no concrete evidence to support the claim that God never received tenure. As a scientist, it is important to rely on empirical evidence and there is none to prove or disprove the existence of God or any divine being.

3. How does the lack of tenure affect God's role in the world?

The concept of tenure, which is a term used in academia to describe job security and advancement, does not apply to the divine realm. Beliefs and religions vary in their views on the role of God, but it is generally accepted that God is all-powerful and not subject to human constructs such as tenure.

4. Can we ever know for sure if God received tenure or not?

As a scientist, I cannot provide a definitive answer to this question. The existence and role of God is a matter of faith and belief, rather than scientific evidence. Therefore, it is impossible to know for sure if God received tenure or not.

5. How does the concept of tenure fit into different religious beliefs?

The concept of tenure has no direct correlation to religious beliefs. Some religions may view God as having a permanent and unchanging role, while others may believe in a more fluid concept of divinity. Ultimately, the idea of tenure is a human construct and does not have a direct connection to religious beliefs.

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