What Are the Dos and Don'ts of Being a Considerate Houseguest?

[SOS2008]

After the Easter weekend and being with family, it made me think of the things one should or should not do to be considerate as a houseguest, so I decided to share these thoughts with you. If friends or family members are kind enough to invite you to stay at their home, you'll want to be a gracious guest. Here's some tips to help you avoid becoming a burden:

· Always help your hosts after dinner: Offer to clear the table, wash the dishes, or teach them to cook.
· Ensure that you do not overstay your welcome by asking your host if you are overstaying your welcome every couple of minutes.
· Avoid an awkward moment later on by telling your host upfront that you're a bed****ter.
· Playing your host's stereo at top volume after midnight is rude. Bring your own boombox.
· Don't just act like a guest in someone's house. Be a guest in someone's house.
· It's considered good form to replace any cats you drown.
· Cooking a meal for your host is a nice gesture, but ordering a pizza and offering to chip in for your part is way easier.
· Always wait until your hosts have gone to bed before masturbating.
· Should an unfamiliar household situation arise, do not speak. Stare blankly at a fixed point on the wall until it all blows over.
· Don't monopolize the bathroom: Take sponge baths in the kitchen sink, and pee in a bottle and hide it under the bed.
· It's customary to take a souvenir from your host's home as a reminder of your wonderful stay.

I try to keep these things in mind, and hope these tips are helpful to you too.

 

[Moonbear]

Don't forget, if you take the last clean glass for your drink, it's polite to put it in the sink when you're done.

 

[Danger]

Here's some tips to help you avoid becoming a burden:

I was wondering where you've been for the last 14 hours or so. Did you work on that all night, or bag a nap in the middle?

 

[SOS2008]

Don't forget, if you take the last clean glass for your drink, it's polite to put it in the sink when you're done.

Since I don't want my host to have to wash the glass, I just put it back in the cupboard.

 

[Danger]

I just put it back in the cupboard.

And I bet you're one of the one's who thought it was odd for me to keep my dishes in the 'fridge.

 

[motai]

· Don't monopolize the bathroom: Take sponge baths in the kitchen sink

That would be certainly interesting. I can't imagine myself doing that... half-naked and giving myself a spongebath while staring at the kitchen wall...

 

[Danger]

That would be certainly interesting. I can't imagine myself doing that... half-naked and giving myself a spongebath while staring at the kitchen wall...

Obviously an amateur. You're supposed to be fully naked and teasing the neighbour's dog through the window.

 

[juvenal]

That would be certainly interesting. I can't imagine myself doing that... half-naked and giving myself a spongebath while staring at the kitchen wall...

Wow - this triggered an old memory:

I remember one of the kids in summer camp in high school did this in the bathroom on a daily basis - bathe himself in front of the sink. That used to freak us out. I wish I could remember who it was and where it was or who else might remember this. I kind of remember the layout of the bathroom - big, and open, with rows of sinks on each wall. Or was it sinks on one side and urinals on the other? Hmm. . .

 

[Danger]

Or was it sinks on one side and urinals on the other? Hmm. . .

If you didn't notice an air about him within an hour or so, it probably was a sink.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Okay, that was good.

Tsu and I turn things around a bit. When we have guests and cook a big breakfast, the maple syrup is served in a urine specimen bottle.

When we're visiting, I like to mention that we're bringing the dogs [well, when we still had dogs].

 

[Danger]

I like to mention that we're bringing the dogs

Dogs are okay. If someone mentions bringing kids I lock the doors, draw the shades, and mine the driveway.

 

[SOS2008]

Wow - this triggered an old memory...

Yeh, for me too...imagining guys...sponge bath...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Dogs are okay. If someone mentions bringing kids I lock the doors, draw the shades, and mine the driveway.

Kids? That's going way too far!

 

[Danger]

Yeh, for me too...imagining guys...sponge bath...

Hmmm... I'm pretty sure I remember seeing a Spongebob costume in that closet when I was rootin' around for the doggie...

 

[juvenal]

If you didn't notice an air about him within an hour or so, it probably was a sink.

I think we were most freaked out about the possibility of finding stray hairs from nether regions in the sink, a la Clarence Thomas and his can of Coke.

 

[Danger]

I think we were most freaked out about the possibility of finding stray hairs from nether regions in the sink

If he was washing it for more than a minute, I'd have a whole 'nother set of worries...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Tsu and I once house-sat for a some friends in LA. They had left this adult game that they strongly encouraged us [Tsu and I] to play. It was a sort of truth or dare board game in which you tell about your most intimate desires, and eventually...well, you get the idea. So the thing is, you write this stuff down on little cards. Well, as we were trying to figure out how to play, we realized what we were seeing: They had forgotten to remove the old cards.

 

[Danger]

we realized what we were seeing: They had forgotten to remove the old cards.

Some insight into your friends that was better left unkown?

 

[SOS2008]

...They had forgotten to remove the old cards.

Maybe they wanted you to find their cards...maybe they are into swapping? I've seen a game like that too--I think it had been a newlywed gift, and then got passed around. I'm proud of any guy would even try the thing--I lost interest rather quickly (but then I have ADD ).

 

[Danger]

Maybe they wanted you to find their cards...maybe they are into swapping?

Brings to mind that clothing-optional Twister party...

 

[juvenal]

A friend of mine was at another friend's (only an acquaintance of mine) apt. He was invited to watch some intimate home videos of that friend and his gf together with them. My friend was a little too weirded out to accept. Now that you mention it - maybe it was an invitation for more than that. The thought never really occurred to me when I heard the story.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Maybe they wanted you to find their cards...maybe they are into swapping?

Knowing them, no. I'm sure that if they ever realized what happened, they were, or at least she was quite embarrassed.

edit: ...and for good reason!

We still have copys of the complete set of cards for sale for $49.95.

 

[Danger]

if they ever realized what happened, they were, or at least she was quite embarrassed.

Next time, make up some of the most outrageous kinkiness your warped little brains can come up with and leave those cards behind 'accidentally'. Then just keep an eye out for funny looks the next time you see them.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

We lost touch many years ago. But you know, it just struck me that he was a physicist. I hope he never shows up here and sees this!

 

[Danger]

I hope he never shows up here and sees this!

If he's the kind who can be embarrassed, I don't much expect he'd hang around this place long enough to see anything past the first page.