Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report

In summary, Mike Pashby was working on the roof of a building on his own when he decided to use a pulley to lower some bricks. He forgot to release the rope and started to descent rapidly, hitting the ground and fracturing his skull, ankle, tooth, and several other bones. He eventually recovered but is now wary of using pulleys in the future.
  • #1
Tsu
Gold Member
420
63
TOO funny!

I don't know how true this is, but I was CRACKING UP! (Rec'd via email)

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER REPORT

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure...

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
 
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  • #2
The animated version has been nominated for an Academy Award.
 
  • #3
Try reading this out loud to someone! I just read it to Ivan and we laughed 'till I cried! I just couldn't get through it without loosing it. Now my sides hurt. :frown:
 
  • #4
If you've ever watched Myth Busters, they had a show on this.
 
  • #5
He should probably stay away from barrels and pulleys in the near future.
 
  • #6
Originally posted by dduardo
If you've ever watched Myth Busters, they had a show on this.

Didn't see that one, but I know this story's been around for a long time. I know profs who actually had to work with this story in high school physics class; determine how long the entire incident took.

Now that's science!
 

Related to Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report

1. What is the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" about?

The "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" is a satirical and comical account of a bricklayer's work accident, written in the style of a scientific report.

2. Is the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" based on a real event?

No, the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" is a work of fiction and not based on any real events or individuals.

3. What makes the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" humorous?

The report uses scientific language and jargon to describe a mundane and relatable situation, creating a humorous juxtaposition. The absurdity of the situation and the deadpan delivery also add to the humor.

4. Can the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" be used as a scientific reference?

No, the report is meant to be a parody and should not be used as a legitimate scientific reference.

5. Who wrote the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report"?

The author of the "Bricklayer's Hilarious Accident Report" is unknown, as it is a popular internet meme and has been shared and adapted by many individuals over the years.

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